The law of detachment is another very important law of the Universe. The law of detachment is rather easy to understand compare to maybe more tricky laws such as the Law of Resistance or the Law of Allowing. However, this law is not always easy to apply.
As a matter of fact, I’ve heard life coaches saying that there are two kinds of people, the ones who can practice the law of detachment easily, and those who don’t. This doesn’t mean that it’s hard to practice this law, it’s because the the law of detachment is all about trusting the forces of Universe.
What is the Law of Detachment?
The Law of Detachment is when you combine your intentions and detach from the outcomes that your desires will manifest. Christy Whitman
The Law of Detachment is the ability to detach from what you have a burning desire for. We are using the law of detachment, in order to release any type of resistance which would prevent us from getting the very thing that we want to attract.
Let me illustrate the Law of Detachment using a common situation that you may have observed yourself.
Let’s say you are looking for a job. You’ve been searching and searching for that darn job for weeks or even months. You’ve done everything in your power to find a job, and you’ve finally found one. Now, as soon as you’ve got that long time coming job, your phone starts ringing off the hook with other job offers. One after the other. Now you don’t only have a job, but you have plenty more opportunities coming your way. The only thing is you don’t need them anymore, but they keep on coming for a while.
For weeks or months you couldn’t find a single job, and now that you’ve finally got one, many more opportunities are showing up. This is the law of detachment at work.
The reason why it was so hard to for you to find a job is because there were a lot of resistance going on, as you were anxiously searching. However, once you’ve found that one job, you finally detached from the whole situation. When you detached, you released all anxiety and resistance and you let the Universe do its job, which is deliver what you’ve been asking for. In this case a job.
This works the same way all the time. No matter what you are searching or asking for. It could be a companion, a car, a pet, or anything else. Usually, when you’ve found what you were looking for a lot more of that will keep appearing for a while, because of your detachment from it.
Why do we Need to Detach from What we Want to Attract?
Why on earth, since we have to concentrate so hard on what we want to apply the law of attraction, do we need to detach from it in order to get it? Well, first, because it’s a Law of the Universe. It’s how it works. Why do we fall down if we jump off a cliff? Well, because it’s one of the laws of our Universe. That’s how it is. But also because without such law we would be floating in the air rather than walking on the ground.
We need to detach from what we want to release resistance. While you take all the law of attraction steps you need in order to bring about what you’re asking for, you need to detach from it by releasing it to the Universe. If you practice the law of attraction every day, but keep saying or (thinking) where is my stuff, already? You are not detaching, you are actually activating a resistance to it. Where is it? I’ve been asking for it and it’s still not here! Now I’m even starting to get mad! Just wait a little longer and I’ll be starting to blame something or someone for this. No, no, no. Do not do that! Calm down and tell the Universe that you are releasing everything, trusting it will take care of it, with the assurance that you can’t fail, because it’s the law.
My Own Story of Detachment That Attracted More of what I Wanted
When I was 16 I stared to develop a strong obsession with the then (still is really) number one most famous French actors. (Well, there were really two, and he was one of them). I day dreamed about him, visualized me with him, I could mention all of his then 60+ movies by title and date. I knew the name of his characters in each one of those movies and I knew the dialogue of some of those movies pretty much by heart. Needless to say I was activating the law of attraction on steroids. I wanted to meet him so bad.
Five years later this actor who had played only in movies for the past 25 years decided to go back to his first love, live theater, for a grandiose play. I convinced my mother to make the trip to Paris to see that play, and we did. I finally saw him in flesh and bone. My dream had come true.
Even though I didn’t know anything about the laws of the Universe back then, when that happened I did finally detached. And because I did, more opportunities to meet him happened to show up.
Only a couple of months later I happened to move to Paris to pursue my Drama studies while that play was still going on. To make a long story short, I ended up befriending the actor’s chauffeur and a member of the theater management personnel. Soon enough, I found myself backstage able to hug and speak to my star. (I wish I could show you one of the pictures we took that day, but they are in France at my mom’s house). After that, I saw that actor on another few occasions, and I even saw him again across the ocean in New York. The law of attraction kept putting him in front of me over and over once I detached from my obsession.
It took me 5 years to see him for the first time. But once I did, I saw him again and again, even when I absolutely didn’t expected it thousands of miles away in another continent. I mean, really, what are the odds you are going to run across your favorite movie star (from another country) on Madison Avenue, and actually spot him in that crowd? Well, close to none. And as you know, I don’t believe in coincidences. All that happened because I applied these two powerful laws of the Universe – the Law of Attraction, and the Law of Detachment. So, it kept on coming.
The Oprah Story of Detachment that Attracted what she Wanted
Oprah became obsessed with the story of ”The Color Purple” when she read it. She bought a copy of the book to all her friends and as she says, she ate and slept “The Color Purple”. So like me with my actor, she turned on that law of attraction on steroid, and all she needed to do at this point is detach. When she got tired of waiting and waiting for her miracle to happen to play a part in The Color Purple, she prayed to be able to release and detached. Which she finally did. As soon as she did, she got a call from Steven Spielberg. You know the rest of the story.
Here is her story in her own words.
The law of detachment goes hand in hand with the law of attraction and the law of allowing. Do everything in your power to activate the law of attraction for what you want, but don’t forget to detach as if you had already received what you want. Once you do, it will all come pouring down to you.
I totally feel where you’re coming from. It seems as though a lot of people do not know how to detach away from things. This is the singlr eason why “things bother us” and i takes a longer time to menifest the best things we want in life. Great post and blog.
Hi Saytue,
Yes, you’re right, because detaching from things is, indeed, not easy to do, but we can learn and try and practice. Nothing is impossible.
Thanks for your feedbacks 🙂
This is amazing Sylviane!
I loved the information shared about this Law, about which I never knew. Yes, one hears about detachment but that as best I know it means detaching or keeping yourself away from the worldly things. But this is surely different.
I guess when you attract something, or once the Law of Attraction works, thereafter you need to bring in the Law of Detachment into force. So, this law doesn’t work unless you attract things to you first – isn’t it? You need to first receive what you are wanting or looking for, and once you get it, you need to let go of it. And if we don’t let go of it, it might turn into an obsession.
Ah…I loved how you used both the laws when you wanted to meet and finally met and let you the French actor, and didn’t we all have our share of crushes that age 🙂 Similarly, Oprah’s video is also so well explained about how she got her share from the Color Purple.
I guess this applies in all spheres of like. Like it’s said if you run after something for too long and wish for it with all your heart, and do get it, but then you need to learn to let go of it too.
Thanks for sharing about yet another wonderful law with all of us. 🙂
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Hi Harleena,
Well, I’m glad you are asking the question here. Actually, no, you do not need to receive first to detached, you supposed to detach as soon as you can. The reason that people detach much too late is because they don’t know any better.
For example, in my case I could detach only once I’d seen my idol once, but I could have done it BEFORE as IF I did meet him, and if I did I might have not waited 5 years to see him.
In the case of Oprah, she finally let go when she got tired, but she could also have done it earlier.
So, again, no don’t wait too long to detach. Know what you want, do your best to attract it… self talk, pictures, thoughts, visualizations, prayers, etc…for a while and then when you feel ready, just release it to the higher forces.
Thanks for your great comment, as always.
You are so right about detaching ourselves from what we want so badly Sylviane and this has been a big lesson for me as well.
I now thank God for everything in my life (and that which hasn’t shown up yet) and tell him that I know he’ll bring it to me when he feels the time is right for me. I quit beating myself up over not getting what I wanted on my time table because I knew once I let it go and gave it to him, he’d bring it to me. I have no doubt whatsoever.
I remember you telling me the story about meeting that actor. See, you had that at work for you this whole time.
I’ve heard Oprah’s story of wanting to be on the Color Purple so bad and then finally just letting it go. It’s amazing how this really works.
Thanks again for sharing this with us, what a great lesson.
~Adrienne
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Hi Adrienne,
Well, you are doing the right thing. I do thank God all the time for everything, even when I’m in tears thinking of loved ones that I don’t have anymore, I thank God for having had them when I did. That’s the way to go.
When you want something and act and feel as if you had it already, you are totally applying the law of detachment.
I see that you totally get that, Adrienne 🙂 and that’s great!
Hi Sylviane,
This is so true and I’m aware of the phenomenon in myself and am so relieved when I can finally let go of any anxiety of not being able to have the thing I want as I know how this just acts as a barrier. I had a situation today where it dropped away funnily enough and I just knew something was going to be ok even though it hasn’t happened yet. It’s a really tough thing to do deliberately though!
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Hi Roz,
I am so glad that you totally get that. Indeed, anxiety is a killer in so many ways, and yes, it act as a barrier between you and what you want. Anxiety is resistance on steroids I would call it.
Thank you for your input, Roz 🙂
This is fascinating stuff, Sylviane. And I understand what Roz says when she talks about letting go of anxiety because I’ve plenty of personal experience of that, from childhood through most of my adult life – and I’d agree that anxiety is attachment on wheels.
I think the main reason to ‘let go’ and stop ‘grasping’ with desperation after whatever it is we crave, is that it makes us so miserable and stops us enjoying what we DO have, right now. We may not always end up obtaining the object of our attachment, as you and Oprah did, but I’m not sure that matters – when people do get what they want, they often find that the reality doesn’t necessarily live up to the promise of what they’d been hoping for (hence the divorce rate!)
By relaxing and accepting what we have, rather than worrying and wishing for what we don’t have, we leave ourselves open to receive all the wonders that life has to offer – which may or may not include what we thought we wanted in the first place.
I hope that makes sense!
Sue
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Hi Sue,
Yes, it makes a lot of sense I totally understand what you’re saying here. As humans we tend do have a lot of fantasies about what we don’t have and a lot of time it’s just that fantasy, not real and not even what we’ve expected.
However, of course it’s good to have dreams, but not totally block on them, but being able to detach, knowing that it will come, no matter what. It’s better to let the universe do it’s job because it will come when the right time is up, not a minute sooner or later.
Thank you for your input and thoughts 🙂
Hi Sylviane,
Oh dear… How true this is? 🙂 I can totally relate with job searching. But you know what, it was happening to me over and over as I desperate to get something. Later on I started to think that if I think too much, I won’t get it 😉
Thereafter, I don’t expect and try to push things back though I get burning desire. I can’t do ’em all but did some. I’ve got what I really really wanted eventually without any heartaches or wasting time 🙂 I could concentrate on other stuff until I get ’em.
Now I used to that. But oh no… Not for all. I never knew what’s behind it actually. I’m really really and really happy I get to know that today 🙂 Awesome. I can say it again “Awesome”. Thank you so much for teaching me this 🙂
Do you remember the day you met your fav actor? 🙂 I can’t think of your happiness on that day. Isn’t it true enough? Oh my… I feel it when I read through that part of you meeting him.
Thanks again for explaining what I was experiencing 🙂 I had no idea of it dear.
Cheers…
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Hi Mayura,
Thank your for your nice comment that put a smile on my face. I see that you’ve been practicing the law of detachment without knowing it, but you did realize that “concentrating” too much on something was not bringing it to you, so you released it, and it happened!
Yes, the day I’ve met my actor is a day that is always in my mind, forever 🙂 You tend to never forget those things, and that’s a good thing.
Remarkable point of view you have shared here Sylviane. It has actually happened to me and back then i couldnt figure out what happened; now i can so relate to the mechanism.Thanks for sharing
Glad you could relate, Fatima 🙂
I appreciate and can relate to what you are saying, although I had never heard of the Law of Detachment.
We may have goals that we are reaching for but the path is never a straight one. We may have failures and compromises along the way. If we cannot detach then we are much more likely to give up, rather than take the “one step back and two steps forward” that are necessary..
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Hi Sue,
That’s exactly right. You are making a great point here. Thus the need to trust the higher power that will bring us to the right pass while letting go with confidence.
Thank you for coming, Sue 🙂
Hi Sylviane,
Loved this post!!!! Indeed, law of detachment works in each and every scenario. When we detach from that particular thing, we have been craving for a long period of time. We in a way become capable of resisting that particular craving. The illustration used to explain this law, is very objective and clearly explains the essence of the post. Thanks for sharing the information about this unique law.
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Yes, Aayna, very nicely said, but we don’t want to “resiste” craving we just want to let go so craving doesn’t ever occur.
Awesome article Sylvianne!
First I want to thank you for sharing your story. I love to read about real life events. That was such an incredible analogy to this article.
I believe that we have to “detach” before we “attract.” We need to realize what exactly is holding us back so we won’t repeat the same mistake. And then we need to let go and allow things to manifest.
People think of the Law of Attraction as something immediate sometimes and do not realize that many things can stand in their way. Like old patterns of thinking or behavior. We need to address these issues, then put our minds to letting it go.
It does take time, because it is not a magic bullet, but things do come to pass when we put our minds to it. Thank you for bringing this part up. It is so important to realize when working with attraction.
Donna
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Donna, you’ve said all that so well 🙂
As a matter of fact, I’m glad that your are reminding people with your comment here, that’s it’s not a magic bullet because in some cases many things might be standing between what people want and their own issues.
As I was tellying, Dipa, above, that’s what I don’t like in “The Secret”. They just make people believe that it’s all easy and fast coming, but while it can for some, it’s not the case for most people.
Thanks for your insights 🙂
Hi Sylviane,
The book ‘Secret’ also says the same-make your wish–and then forget about it. Once you have made your wish, one should not think about it until one receives it-at which point one must make sure to thank the Universe for it.
Nice post as always-thanks so much for sharing. Only by reading such inspirational post can we keep ourselves motivated to follow the secret and implement the Law of Attraction.
Hi Dipa,
While I don’t agree with everything in “The Secret”, because it’s a bit too simplified, yes, it they mention there to let go. However, you should not “forget” it, just no resist it by wondering why it’s not here yet. Forgetting is not quite the right term, because what you wish for in life should always be with you. Just wanted to make this little precision.
Thank you for coming and for your input 🙂
Hi Sylviane,
This is a great article and a great piece of information that everyone should be made aware of or reminded of. The Law of Detachment can be likened to prayer or meditation with whatever it is that you desire stated clearly (or visualized) and then finishing with, “thy will be done” or “and so it is”. This is in effect, allowing the universe to carry through with your request that you are now consciously detaching from.
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The very first thing that comes to mind when the topic is about detachment is I think of people who are so detached in their emotions and the other people around them that they tend to do certain bad things (I usually watch crime scene investigation series on TV and forensic science) that are horrible beyond one’s imagination. In another way, I define detachment as something that makes you feel void, numb, or in some cases, heartless (especially if it involves crime or violence).
On the other hand, I can totally relate to your example about trying to get a job and when you finally get one, when there’s other jobs finally being opened for you, you are no longer interested and detached about it. That’s what happened to me when I was just fresh out of school and looking for my first job. I was quite frustrated when it was already 2 months and I still haven’t got any job yet, but once I did not think too much about it, the next few days I got a call in the morning telling me I got hired already, and then in that same afternoon I got another call from two other companies saying that they wanted me to start immediately. It was really a shockingly good day for me, and at the same time I had to make a decision which company I will be happy to work for.
I’m happy for you that you get to meet your favorite actor even if it took a good few years before you could see him personally for the first time. I did not know that story about Oprah. Thank you for sharing yet another interesting and provocative post, Sylviane!
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Hi Felicia,
Of course we are not talking about detachment in the sense of “heartless” here. NO, this is not this type of negative detachment.
As I can see here, you have experienced the type of detachment I am talking about and you actually witness its effectiveness.
Thank you for your input and thoughts and see you around soon 🙂
Hi Sylviane,
Thank you for explaining the Law of Detachment in such an easy to understand manner. I agree that it goes hand in hand with Law of Attraction and Law of Allowing.
When I was very anxious in creating my own team training system for my network marketing business, one of my best friends mentioned that I needed to be detached and relaxed. Little did I know what she meant then. Now that as I am fully focusing on the tasks that I needed to implement, I found myself having no time to be anxious.
As I tapped into doing the tasks with FAITH, I found the most amazing things happening to me. For example, I was lead to an awesome blogging community. From there, I entered the Top 50 MLM Blogs Contest without expecting any awards. I ended up getting the Best Up & Coming Bloggers Award. Guess what? The prize is a Branding Course that arrives so timely! I was planning to focus my blogging to serve the stay-at-home mums! Incredible!
Thanks, Sylviane!
Viola The Business Mum
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That’s fantastic, Viola!
This is the law of attraction in action!
I’m glad to hear that your friend told you to relax and detached, because what you were creating was really what we call “resistance” and resistance is never a good thing to have around, because it doesn’t bring anything positive. It actually prevents it.
It’s just great that you’ve attracted just what you needed when you needed it.
Thank you for your input, here 🙂