The hyper-mediatization of Valentine’s Day is shaping unhealthy expectations. Hollywood blockbusters have made grand gestures the new normal, from Valentine’s Day proposals to romantic expenses. Social media platforms also encourage couples to share their #couplegoals photos, where social media influencers compete for likes and followers. Yet, these gestures are taking the focus away from the purpose of valentine’s Day, which is a celebration of love.
You don’t have to go big to do it right. Yet, you feel uncomfortable giving small presents. A big and bold Valentine’s Day gains in cost but loses its personal touch. A bold display of your love removes the authenticity of your relationship. But it is often used as compensation to prevent exposing vulnerabilities. Ultimately, you can’t open your heart to someone if you are not confident in yourself. Without self-love, Valentine’s Day is a celebration of commerce only.
Take the Time to Know Yourself
You need to cultivate a better relationship with yourself. Make it a conscious choice to reflect every day on your feelings and thoughts. It is easy to get distracted by life and forget to keep in touch with your emotions. Allowing yourself to identify and acknowledge your emotions helps increase your awareness of what you need. Emotions act as a guide that reminds you of the things you want so that you can make room for your happiness. The fear of your own feelings can stand in the way of your happiness, as you unknowingly deny your needs and desires to serve those of your partner.
It can be difficult to accept and embrace your needs, especially if they differ from your partner’s or their assessment of your personality. Yet, if you deny these, you are not being honest either with yourself or with your partner. Can Valentine’s Day thrive on dishonesty?
Find a Balance Between Togetherness and Me-Time
In a relationship, interdependence is a common fear. It can be hard to be with someone while preserving the relationship you have with yourself. An ill-balance relationship consumes yourself. Abusive relationships often describe the feeling of sacrificing yourself when you are afraid of your partner. However, even in a loving and respectful relationship, individuals who have low self-esteem are willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of togetherness. Valentine’s Day is not a celebration of self-sacrifice. As such, it becomes essential to reclaiming me-time without rejecting togetherness.
You can consider planning couple activities on Valentine’s Day that will balance self-time and moments together. A motorbike road trip is a romantic way of spending a weekend together while remaining in charge of your self-reflections and time. You can suggest a self-guided tour in a stunning location and even offer to compare rates to ship your bikes safely and reserve hotels. Road trips can encourage intimacy, not only within the couple but also as a sense of becoming more comfortable in your own company. When driving on the road, you are alone with your thoughts, and you can be together at each stop.
The act of self-love is a learning process. You are unlikely to develop a positive relationship with yourself overnight. However, as you build a better knowledge of yourself, you can appreciate how much celebrating yourself can elevate your romantic relationship. Self-love is the first step toward a meaningful Valentine’s Day.
Hi Sylviane,
Great article! Thank you so much!
When you aren’t caring for yourself properly, you’re kind of telling yourself that you just aren’t worth it. You’re also leading yourself toward burnout and unhappiness. So, it’s safe to say that a lack of self-care is very unhealthy. If you want to prioritize self-love, you’ve got to prioritize self-care too. This will increase your feelings of self-worth, not to mention just make you a happier and healthier person. You’re worth the time and effort that it takes to ensure you’re taking care of yourself.