This past Monday I read the blog post of my friend, Adrienne Smith, where she was talking about how she had felt a bit down for a little while. On her post she mentioned a few things that made me thinking and motivated me to write this post today. As a matter of fact, there was a simple phrase that she mentioned that made me come up with this post.
What is that favorite phrase that people say when negative (or even positive) things happen to them?
You know!
Yes, that all time popular “things happen for a reason.”
Do things happen for a reason? Sure they do, but…
The next question you might want to ask yourself is; what reason?
Have you ever asked yourself this question?
Yes, things may be happening for a reason, all right, but that reason is not necessarily always for the best. Because if it were, every single person on the planet would always fall on their feet and everything would be well in paradise.
While things do happen for reasons, we don’t always understand what those reasons may be, because we are not well informed about how things work in this universe.
The good news is, that we can learn more about it and the next time we say that things happen for a reason, we’ll actually understand better what that reason is.
So, thanks to Adrienne’s post who inspired me this post, my intent here is to help you understand better what we are really saying when we say “things happen for a reason.”
Different Reasons why Things Happen to People
There isn’t always a positive reason why things happen to us. I know we all want to think this way, but frankly, that’s just not the case. Yes, there is ALWAYS a reason, but more times than not, people just don’t understand what that reason is.
At times we may see that some situations are arranging themselves around us in such a way that we realized that it’s for our own good. At times we may even realize that because things went in such a way it saved our lives.
For example, we’ve heard of some people who were supposed to be on one of the planes that crashed in the New York’s Twin Towers in 9/11, and some people working in the towers who called out sick that day. The fact that those things happened saved those people’s life that day.
When my father left to deliver some of my mother’s work to her boss, and got killed in a car crash about 10 minutes later, it turns out that my mother was supposed to go with him that day, but she stayed home because she wasn’t feeling well.
Well, you could say that her not feeling well that day, happened for a reason – a darn good reason that saved her life, which meant a lot not only to her, but to her two small kids as well.
There are thousands of situations where people can say, this happened for a reason, and that reason was a crucial one. In such case it made the difference between them being alive or dead.
If it wasn’t their time to die, then the whole universe (God) arranged things around that person, so that they wouldn’t put themselves in such situation that they would have lost their life.
This said. There is a huge question that begs to be asked.
What about when things that happen don’t serve you well at all? Do they happen for a reason? And by that I mean, is it necessarily a GOOD reason?
Not Everything Happens for the Reason you want it to be
Don’t’ be fooled. Not everything that happens to you or around you is for a good reason, so to speak. Many times it’s simply the cause and effect universal law.
I’m sure that if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve noticed at least one or two things that have happened to you for no other reason than being the cause of a mistake you’ve made. I know I have.
At times that cause can also be long coming; it’s not necessarily something that you’ll see over night. At time the effect of a cause is felt years later. I know all about that one!
But if you don’t pay attention, when such effect happens years and years later, you may tend to ask, why did this happen to me? Why me? And to make yourself feel better you might even say things happen for a reason. I know we’ve all done that.
Well, simply put, some things happen because of the mistakes we’ve made. We are the only (reason) responsible for it. Yes, it happened for a reason, but in such case it might be your ignorance, you carelessness, your lack of love, your foolishness, or even your young age that is responsible for it.
Another Reason why Things Happen
At times, because of our low emotional vibrations, our wrong choices and many other factors that exist in this universe, things that may be happening to us are NOT always a good reason. In other words, this means that not everything that’s going to happen to you will always serve you well in such case.
So, the next time you’re saying, things happen for a reason, make sure you follow this statement by saying… OK, but what reason? Do I have any conscious or subconscious contribution to it?
I am sure that if you think back right now about some of the things that happened to you, you’ll have to admit that some of things that have happened to you were the results of some bad choices you made or even some subconscious programming you were not even aware of.
At times a bunch of negative things can come one after another because we have been dwelling in a low vibration zone, so to speak, and when that’s the case, noting positive can actually manifest in our life, until we flip those vibrations.
You can’t see those vibrations, no more than you can see the magnetic field that attract to opposite polarity magnets or that repulse two magnets of the same polarity. We can’t see it, but it is there.
Not Everything is about You
Also, remember that when bad things happen to you, it doesn’t have to be your fault every time either, because it’s not all about you.
The fact that some people we love leave this earth has nothing to do with us, but more with them, but of course, this doesn’t mean that it won’t affect us in a very bad way, because no matter how you see it, there isn’t anything agreeable about losing a loved one.
The fact that those things happen, have nothing to do with us personally. They don’t happen for OUR reasons, they happen for other reasons that have nothing to do with us as individuals.
We are not the center of the universe, after all – there are many other reasons out there that don’t have our name on them – so don’t try to see something in every single thing that may be happening to you or around you.
Conclusion
I hope I didn’t lose you on this one. Most of my posts on this blog come to me from a very deep place. There are given to me in a way, I can’t really explain, and then I have to put them into words.
but here is a quick reminder.
1) Some things may happen to you to save and protect you, because your time here is not over yet.
2) Some things may happen to you because you’ve made some serious mistakes whether willingly or because you didn’t know any better. In other words, they wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t do those things. Some thing happen because it’s simply the results of cause and effect. If I old a pencil and drop it (the cause) it will fall to the floor (the effect).
3) Some things may happen because we are in a negative/low vibration zone, and that’s called the law of attraction.
4) Some things happen, yet we have nothing to do with it. If a loved one dies it’s not about us, it’s about them. It may be their time, we just happened to there.
I hope that next time you say, things happen for a reason, you’ll also pause and think. OK, but what could that reason be?
Your turn now…. Please, leave your thoughts and comments below!
Photo credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Hey Sylviane,
Great article, love that you really went beyond the old adage and broke it down! I think it has a lot to do with faith, faith in what we think will happen – it usually helps to accelerate that universal law! Great post!
Zach
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Hi Zach,
Glad you could relate with the post. I think that this typical phrase needed some clarification.
Thanks for coming.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..Do Things Happen For A Reason?
Hi Sylviane,
Hmm, an honest appraisal of a big problem I ‘m working on solving unfortunately
falls right on me. I made a wrong decision, didn’t follow through with the
solution and the problem has grown.
Didn’t happen because of God and that’s my time, happened because of me.
So, back to work on my solution.
Thanks for the Ramble, really helped me clarify what I need to do. I made the
problem so it is up to me to fix it!
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Hi Cararta,
Yes, that’s right. We can’t just blame God for everything, can we? That’s why I needed to clarify this point I think. Thanks for coming and for your input.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..Do Things Happen For A Reason?
Hi Sylviane
Ah yes, all those horrible mistakes we made and it puts us where we are today. I see many choices that I have made that put me exactly where I am. How differently things could have been, if I had made smarter choices. But in the end, was their a lesson to be learned, maybe just a different path to learn it?
Do we at sometime get things right and then go back on a course that we should have arrived at years earlier? I wonder about that at times. I also wonder if mistakes put us in a position to endure hardship to also become more compassionate because of it and in a place where we would never have trod.
Mary
Hi Mary,
Of course, we can always learn from our mistakes, but I don’t believe that we’re better off having made some them, at least. I have too many personal and up close examples where that wasn’t the case.
However, some mistakes we make can help us grow, indeed, while some others can be quite burdensome at best and even fatal at worst. So, it all depends on what type of mistake we’re talking about. To me I would have done well without some of the stupid mistakes I made – I do not believe that I would have had to make them, would I had been better prepared or better informed.
It’s kind of learning how to ride a bike or dragging your bike while walking on the side for miles before you actually learn to ride it. Did you learn anything while walking your bike? I don’t think so.
Thanks for your input, Mary.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..Do Things Happen For A Reason?
Hi Sylviane
Perhaps we do learn as you reference to dragging your bike. If you drag your bike long enough you soon learn this is not very productive and it becomes an incentive to hurry up and learn to ride. If we keep making mistakes over and over the lesson is to evaluate our thinking. Maybe we can also keep others from doing the same.
But I do agree things are not always for a reason and we do have to take it and own it, no matter how hard it is and how much it hurts.
Mary
Yes, good point, Mary. Thanks for adding this valuable message here 🙂
I’m so glad I could inspire you to write about this topic Sylviane. As you know, I’ve been asking myself what the reasons were.
I had one guy tell me about how things were just horrible with him because he has lost so many loved ones. I understand what he means just like me losing Scott but his death had nothing to do with me. I just miss him terribly and grieving is never a good experience nor losing a loved one but that wasn’t some lesson I was suppose to learn either. He just lived out his time on this earth whether I liked it or not.
I do think that some things do happen for a reason and if I can figure them out then at least I know but if I can’t then I have to chalk them up to either I’ll never know or it just happened. You are right though, it can be because of several things. Hopefully we all can just learn to deal with them and move on.
Great topic and thank you so much. I appreciate that!
~Adrienne
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HI Adrienne,
As we were talking about the other day, as we look back and see how things turned out, we can rightfully say, wow this might have happened for a reason.
For example me being in the theater all those years ago, turn out to be very valuable still for public speaking which is something I strongly see myself do in the future. I don’t think I would have the guts to do it if I didn’t have that “public speaking” experience if you will 🙂
As they say, life is a journey, not a destination, so what we’ve done 20, 40 or even more years ago can still come handy to continue the journey.
Thanks for your input, Adrienne.
Hi Sylviane,
I love the way you think! When things seem to be a bunch of obstacles in my way of getting something I want done, I hold back for a moment. I know deep down inside there must be something going on.
What I have found many times was that I just wasn’t ready for that next step. So in hindsight, when everything flows again, I say AHA! If it wasn’t for all those darn things that got in my way, I wouldn’t be ready to push on. But now I am!
-Just a thought!
-Donna
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Hi Donna,
Totally agree with that. That has happened to me many times. At times we’re just not ready yet for what we want, but when we are, it all comes and flows easily.
The real course of the universe is “ease” not struggle, but if we struggle it’s coming from us. Just look at the seasons, a water fall, take a walk in a forest or lie on the beach, it’s all easy in coming. The universe never struggles. Even when the lava of volcano comes down, it will devour whatever is down there so easily without effort.
We are part of this universe and we need to let go so that “easiness” so to speak, will be part of us too.
Thanks for coming and have a fantastic weekend.
Hi Sylviane,
It’s so true that things may happen as a result of a cause we’re either unaware of – or has been created so long ago that we have lost any recollection of it.
All causes have an effect – all effects have a cause.
It’s a Natural Law.
What that cause is isn’t always so easy to determine – but I think we get closer to the answer if we at least allow ourselves to become self-aware.
This is a touchy subject for a lot of us since pain often comes along for the ride when it seems like random things just happen onto us – so it’s really cool that you put this post together…although it also works the same way when wonderful things happen as well.
Everything you had to say made sense and I know that when I experience things that I don’t understand right away – I ask myself the same things covered in your list here and usually gain a sense of clarity.
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Hi Dana,
I know that someone like you could relate to this. You said everything very clearly and just as it is.
The more be develop a self awareness the more we can become clear about why this or that happened.
Thanks for you input.
HI Sylviane,
Oh yes…things do happen for a reason, and I think you explained it all so well here 🙂
I know that certain things are also perhaps destined to happen, and they happen in their own time. You, me or anyone’s intervention cannot prevent them from occurring. When I had that massive accident when the car we were travelling back in, somersaulted, and I survived even after a head injury – it did make us feel that my work on this earth wasn’t yet over. There were things I still had to do or accomplish, and perhaps that’s why a higher force was there who pulled me out of deathbed that day.
Thinking of 9/11 – my Dad was right there and had just given a lecture and was coming out of those towers, when all this happened – he too was meant to be here with us for his work wasn’t over. Perhaps our love for him pulled him back, that too could be a reason, isn’t it? Or his undone work yet had to be carried out. So, after seeing so many incidents in our own immediate family, I do believe that things happen for a reason for sure. 🙂
Thanks for sharing. Have a nice weekend 🙂
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Hi Harleena,
Well said. Things also do happen for a reasons that are above and beyond our understanding, and for sure, even if our life happens to be in danger we are going to pull through if it’s not our time to go.
Wow, so your father was in those towers not long before they were no more! I’m sure you must have thought about how close he could been from being gone.
Thanks for sharing this we us.
Hi Sylviane,
This was an excellent article and I can definitely resonate with what you wrote about how sometimes things happen to us because of the mistakes we make. In this regards, we then have the option to bring the mistake to light, label it as the cause of what happened. Hopefully, we will then have learnt from the mistake, so we wouldn’t make the same one again.
Thank you.
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Hi Hiten,
I’m glad you could relate with this post.
A lot of the things that do happen, certainly do happen because of our mistakes.
Thank you for your input.
Hey Sylviane,
A lot of say “Things happen for a reason” and never asked what the reason is! I’ve actually been doing this lately. Sometimes it’s now for our own benefit but for the benefit of others, while other times it may be for our own benefit.
Sometimes I look back in the past at my life and can pin point why certain things didn’t happen for me because I wasn’t ready for it while other things I was ready for it. I can also see what helped me to become the person I am today as well being the influence on someone else’s life.
This is definitely a great topic and I’m glad you brought this one up. It really made me think! Thanks Sylviane and you have a great rest of the weekend!
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Hi Sylviane,
Things do happen for a reason. But it doesn’t mean that we trust everything to fate. We do have minds to make decisions and it’s not fate as always that we should rely on.
nice article,,,,things happening are well explained..keep penning down…