SYLVIANE NUCCIO

How Important Is Your Ego To Your Level Of Success?

healthy ego success
September 25, 2013 Success Coaching, Women Relationship

healthy ego success

Let me ask you this one more time; how important is your ego to your level of success? What would you say?

But first, what is the ego exactly?

Even though some people like to make it complicated, the dictionary itself gives us the very simple definition of the ego: “A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.”

Just like in the case of money, some people like to make the “ego” the bad guy. You’ll often hear or read, let your ego get out of the way. So, for them, the ego is a bad thing, but it’s not.

The ego is just that; our sense of self-esteem and self-worth.  In other words, what we think of ourselves.

So, how is your ego doing?  It’s very important to check our ego.

This article will attempt to give you some light on what the ego really is and why we need to have a “healthy” dose of ego to be successful.

 

How is Your Ego Doing?

Did you know that for most of us, our ego is based on the manner in which they were raised, our education, the social class in which we grew up, and our occupation? So it is fair to say that the ego is mainly based on outside factors.  In other words, we are not born with an ego, it’s something that takes shape as life goes on, but it does start very early.

Sadly, someone who grew up poor will have a very different ego than someone who grew up rich. A lawyer will have a different ego than a warehouse worker. Someone in management will have a different ego than someone who has never managed anyone.  This is just the way it goes with ego.

That self-esteem and self worth that’s attached to self varies greatly from one person to the next. People’s ego vary as much as their body shape or fingerprints. Each individual is going to have his own ego depending on where he’s coming from socially, culturally, emotionally, and psychologically.

However, when it comes to our body shape and fingerprints we can’t help that much, but when it comes to our ego, it’s just a trick of the mind.  Nothing else.

If your ego is not serving you in life, it can be transformed at will.

Probably not from one day to the next and certainly not on its own, but if you wanted to transform your ego, you could.

 

What Have you been Tricked to Believe?

Most of our beliefs are just that; tricks that our mind plays on us.  What you believe about YOU, your ego, is a total machination of your brain, based on the data that was giving to you very early in life.

Is any human life more important than another? Well, if it was, it would only be in the mind of some crooked people which ego have so much tricked them that they have become figuratively blind and deaf. There is little hope for such individuals unless they take a good look at themselves and realized their problem.

But to answer this question, the truth of the matter, is that every single human being is a miracle. A creation of God, so to speak, which has the same important value as the next person. And by the way, it really doesn’t matter if you don’t believe in “God”. It doesn’t change anything in the matter.

If you take a life, you are going to go to jail, right? They are not going to ask you if you believe that you are superior to that person or if you believe in God.  The fact is that that person’s life is valuable, and you’ll for pay the price for it.  That’s why murderers go to jail.

Now I don’t want to make you depress with this example, but it really illustrates my point so well. No one is more important than you, and you are not less important than anyone else. The truth is that each one of us is important and valuable. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Only your ego may sometimes trick you into believing that you are not important because it needs to be adjusted.

 

Is the Ego Bad?

As I mentioned at the beginning, for some reasons, some people like to call the ego evil, something that’s in the way and that we must get rid of.

What they don’t understand is that you CANNOT get rid of your ego.  You couldn’t get rid of your ego any more than you could get rid of a single cell in your body, because whether that ego serves you or not, it’s there to stay.  What you can do, however, is fix it, so to speak.

Your ego is not evil, but it either serves you or not. There are actually only three reasons that your ego is not serving you:

1-     You ‘re thinking that you are inferior to others (and that could be more or less conscious).

2-     You ‘re thinking that you are superior to others.

3-     You’re seeing  other people as either superior or inferior to others.

If you have any of such issue, it’s not that your ego is evil; it’s that your mindset is detached from reality. It means that you’ve got some personal development to do.

It means that you need to work on yourself to align your ego with your true self.  I know that all this may sound way up there for some of you reading this type of material for the first time, but I will explain further so you will get it.

 

How Can you Evaluate your Ego – The Mirror Test

What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror? And I’m not talking about your face features here.  The mirror test is really a good test to help you feel how high or low is your self-esteem.

Who do you see in the mirror?

Would you feel any different about that reflection in the mirror if you had a better job?  More money? Lived in a more beautiful home? It’s very important that you actually stand in from of your mirror and look at yourself and analyze what you see. Take a few minutes and truly analyze how you feel as you’re staring at yourself in the mirror.

If you feel low – if you sense a low self-esteem is looking back at you – imagine yourself to be who you really want to be.  Imagine that you have everything you’ve ever wanted, but most of all you need to FEEL it.

If possible, put little notes on your bathroom mirror as a reminder of how to feel each time you look at your reflection. You can put notes such as “ (your name) you are worth it “(you name) you are whole and abundant,” “(your name) you are loved, respected, whatever adjective you can think of that will bring you up.”

Talk to yourself looking at yourself in your mirror and tell yourself that you ARE who you want to be as if it was already here.  Try this exercise 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening. You’ll be amazed at what this simple exercise can do.

 

How Important is your Ego to your Level of Success?

Your ego is very important to your level of success.  Truly successful people tend to have a very healthy ego; not thinking that they are superior to others, while being totally aware and owning their self-worth.

It’s impossible to be truly successful financially, socially and your relationship if you don’t have a healthy ego.

You can’t spend the rest of your life thinking little about yourself and expect to be happy and successful in any area of your life.  So if you feel inferior to anyone else around you, boost up your ego by trying the mirror exercise and check yourself out after a week or two, and let me know how you feel.

If you have any question, I’m only an email away!

I hope you enjoyed this article, and will start applying those tips now. Please, let me know what you think and add your thoughts down below in the comments.

 

Sylviane Nuccio

 

 

25 thoughts on “How Important Is Your Ego To Your Level Of Success?”

  1. Hey Sylviane,

    I believe it was Eckhart Tolle’s teachings that really introduced me to the ego and I fully understood how this all works. In all honesty, before I got into personal development I never gave that any thought at all.

    That’s what will open your eyes, understanding really how your mind works and coming to terms with who you really are.

    I always thought I had a good sense of who I was as a person but I really learned even more about me when I started to get more into personal development. I always believed in myself and my self-esteem was never low. Not that I can do anything on this earth but I know I’m a good person and worthy of wonderful things happening to me in my life. I’ve never been stuck up or treated people poorly.

    I was walking Kayla this morning and thinking to myself why are some people just jerks. I happen to have a neighbor who is and out of all the people who live in my complex, and it’s small, he’s the only one. He’s mean, he’s rude oh and did I mention he’s a lawyer! What is it with those people anyway.

    Thanks for this meaning of ego Sylviane because I think when people get a better handle on it and hopefully practice some of what you shared here, they’ll see a big change in themselves. Gratitude and belief in yourself will truly take you far.

    Great post girl and have a great rest of your week.

    ~Adrienne
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    1. Hi Adrienne,

      I know what you mean with your rude neighbor. For the life of me I don’t know why people would be like this, but for one thing, they are unhappy. Almost every time you meet a mean person, there’s lots of pain behind it all.

      You see, me for example, I was never mean, because I’ve always had a good heart, but I could be rude and aggressive, and I know that came from being bullied. Actually a lot of people who got to known me told me that before they knew me they thought I was mean. I totally understood them 🙂

      As for those who think that they are superior to others, they make me laugh my butt off, what a pity and what a troubled ego. There’s no such thing as anyone superior. I’ve never ever thought that way, and that I’ve learned from my mom from infancy. She was so humble and respected everyone and anyone. She couldn’t see a homeless person without giving them money. She just couldn’t.

      Thank you for your comment, Adrienne. As always, very appreciated.
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  2. Hi Sylviane

    If we just all get rid of our insecurities we could achieve so much. We are definitely programmed to believe we belong in a certain place in life.

    Actually I had to chuckle a little at Adrienne’ neighbor. When I was working we had this man come in on occasion and do a will call on merchandise. We all thought he was grumpy and rude. One day I knew he was coming in and decided to try a different approach. When he walked in the door I looked up and gave him a big smile and said “Hi, how are you today?” He immediately softened. He came in a few times after that and I again reacted the same way. He began to smile and share a joke or two with me. He even asked me how I was doing. I feel that you never know what burden someone is carrying around and sometimes you can melt the wall they have put up around themselves. Anyways I thought it was worth a try.

    You are right our images of ourselves at times need to be adjusted if we are ever going to be the best we can be. We owe it to the world to be great achievers and thanks again for reminding me. We do need a shove from behind at times.

    Mary
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    1. Hi Mary,

      Thank you so much for sharing this story. As I was mentioning to Adrienne, lots of times rudeness comes from pain. By softening the heart of this man with your smile and positive attitude you made him feel “better.”

      You took him from a bad place to better place, so his attitude changed instantly. I’ve done that so many times, and it works every time!

      Thank you for coming by and please, forgive me for being so late into replying to your comment here. I’ve been just a bit overwhelmed with things to do this week 🙂
      Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..4 Essential Lessons That Will Lead You To SuccessMy Profile

  3. Hi Sylviane,

    It’s impossible to be truly successful in every sense of the term if you don’t have a healthy ego. You are absolutely right in saying that.

    I’ve always believed that our success can never be greater than our own self-image. Now, Self-Image is not too much different from a healthy ego. Knowledge of self, self-confidence and a sense of worth makes a healthy ego. I can’t imaging how a person without some amount of self-image can succeed.

    And just like anything (money and ego included), too much of anything is only bad. Too much of ego is as bad as too much of money especially when it goes out of proportion. Even too much knowledge without application can only cause harm. Only applied knowledge is useful. Isn’t that amazing how it works?

    But I enjoyed the fact that you gave such a positive spin to the term “ego” and practically explained how it can be helpful and how lack of it can be harmful. Thank you for taking time to put together such an excellent article!

    Regards,
    Kumar
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    1. Hi Kumar,

      You are perfectly right, our success CAN’T be greater than our self-image. That is a fact, and that goes very well along the lines of this post.

      Yes, too much of a lot of things is bad. In the case of money it’s not so much the “too much” that’s the problem it’s the people who have it. If I had too much money I’ll be feeding people who are hungry and helping those who need medical attention but can’t afford it. I’l have huge out of this world shelters for abandoned animals.

      Unfortunately, many people who have too much money let it get it into their head. But someone like Andrew Carnegie, for example, gave most of his fortune to society and he was a billionaire according to today’s standards.

      I always like to emphasis that money is just an object and can’t be good or bad, but people can.

      Thank you for your excellent feedback.
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  4. Sometimes it seems like the ego can get in the way of your progression in life but sometimes they can progress you to a position that you long for.

  5. Hi Sylviane,

    I agree – we are never born with an ego, instead the other outside factors are what result in it, our life’s situation, job, how we grew up, the education we received etc.

    I liked your mirror test, which is also a great way to boost your self-esteem and confidence level. Yes, try to feel good about yourself and imagine all that you ever wanted – that does bring in a LOT of positive vibes into us. I’ve never tried the little notes all over, but read that they do wonders, just as the mirror.

    Having a healthy ego is important to your success, and if we think positive and uplift our thoughts to think that we ARE worth it – it does the trick.

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂
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  7. Hi Sylviane,

    Yes ego is critical to good healthy development. I’m not sure I believe that if you are a lawyer you will have a different ego than someone who grew up poor. I grew up poor in the ghetto but knew I was found for more. My ego and what I thought of myself was not based on as my living conditions and where I lived. It is internal. Now I’m not saying that’s not the case for most people, but I don’t think we can make those assumptions and put everyone in a box.

    Some of the greatest minds and personalities grew up poor in bad environments but knew they were destined for more. Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln. Even going to the latest and bringing it up to date. Mariah Carey grew up in one of the poorest neighborhoods in Long Island, in near poverty. Lack of any toys or other fun things to do, she found her own “fun” by doing things like poisoning her dog and setting her parents’ car on fire. Later, she moved to NYC to try her luck. She met a Columbia Records exec by coincidence at a party, and not very long after that she was introduced to the world.

    And there are many, many more. So although I believe ego is the key to our success, I don’t believe we can box blanket a say that everyone who is poor has a poor ego and everyone who is successful has a different ego.

    Ego is inherent to the person and although it may it can definitely be affected by your environment, this is not a given. Too many cases of success (not stars), but regular everyday people that prove this to be true.

    Anyway, just my thoughts.
    Barbara

    1. Hi Barbara,

      I knew what you mean, and I was like you. I’ve always been the biggest ego of my whole, even extended family, but people like you and me are few and far in between. For most people their ego does go along with what they have been surrounding by, and even we to some extent.

      I don’t make assumptions, it’s just a fact, even if we know there are exceptions. Most famous and talented people come from very humble beginnings, but how many are they compared the the amount of human beings that we come (or don’t come) across that see themselves just based on where they were born, how they were raised, how educated they are and how much money they have? MOST people, I would say.

      I’ve seen a young woman promoted at my jog not too long ago. When she first started she was all shy and subdued. I taught her how to use outlook. Now she’s about to break her back just by the way she’s holding her chest. 🙂 I mean, that’s true, Barbara 🙂 You should see her. I’m laughing my head off almost every day because of this. Her ego has changed, indeed!

      Thank you for coming and for your interesting input.
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  8. Hi Sylviane,
    You’ve done a great job explaining various facets of the ego.

    Our purpose as human beings is not to “prove” our worth, but to live out our possibilities and purpose. A well-developed sense of self is necessary to our
    well-being.

    High self-esteem people tend to assess their abilities realistically and manage change well. Thus, they tend to focus on tasks and results, rather than self-aggrandizement.

    Kind Regards,
    Bill
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  9. Sylviane, very interesting. I think many of us suffer from a low ego and could do much more if we could only alter our egos. And those with too much ego can lose everything including that ego along the way, right? I haven’t given it much thought lately but I would gather than mine is still more on the low side. Something to work on. Thanks for sharing and have a great weekend ahead.
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  10. Hi Sylviane,

    I really think you and I are somehow in sync.
    I had recently written a post about the ego – and whether or not it was an enemy.
    As far as I’m concerned, it isn’t – but we sure have been led to believe that it is.

    Just like you said here – we are designed to have an ego. It works best when we USE it, and allow it to work for us – like an employee. But instead, we’ve given this thing way too much power.
    Any time we try to disown an aspect of our being, we, in essence, reject ourselves. Instead, why not learn what it’s meant to do for us while we’re here…and allow it to have its voice? It’s possible when we observe.
    The ego isn’t so bad when we remember that the ‘real’ us is the watcher.

    Well done 🙂
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  11. Hello Sylviane,

    For a long time I had a very low self-esteem which made me feel inferior on a personal level. A part of me that I work on on a daily basis.

    On a professional level when I was working, I was a whole different person. I didn’t feel as though I was above anyone else by no means but I had confidence in my work and feel as though I can hold up my own :).

    Now I’m learning to apply that to my new blogging career. I don’t feel inferior but I won’t jump in an give expert advice as I’m still learning myself. 🙂

    I do believe that a healthy ego is needed to be successful, that’s how we gain confidence in ourselves and our work. But it can easily turn into a bad ego if we let that confidence get carried away.

    It’s been a long time since I’ve done those mirror exercises. I should do that more often. Wonderful post Sylviane! Hope you’ve been having a great Tuesday!
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  12. Hello Sylviane,

    Thanks for sharing this awesome blog. I love what you said concerning people religious belief “If you take a life, you are going to go to jail, right? They are not going to ask you if you believe that you are superior to that person or if you believe in God. The fact is that that person’s life is valuable, and you’ll for pay the price for it. That’s why murderers go to jail.” The fact that someone does not believe in the existence of God barely changes a thing.

    I personally feel that ego is a very vital aspect of every human that needs to be controlled. Like you said “Ego is a thing of the mind”, but more often than not, people allow their ego to get into their head and that’s the problem. When this happens, the effect is often negative: It could lead to lack of self confidence, depression and pride.

    This is my first time of reading your blog, thumbs up!

  14. It is good to have a balanced ego; one that does not make your proud or too stiff or too rude towards others. Ego lets you define your limits and how others should approach you if they would want to and that is why it is also critical to your success because it drives your decisions. You have an ego then people know you have a strong personality and that you are aware of your goals. Thanks for the good share.

  15. The crazy thing is when you start noticing other’s ego around you. It makes you feel like everyone is playing a role. I’ve read and reread Tolle’s books so many times. This ego thing is truly amazing.

    I catch my ego trying to play tricks on me all the time and I just laugh. I can’t believe the nonsense is tries to make me believe.

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