“There is no such thing as failure. There are only results”. Tony Robbins
Are you looking for different results in your life? Do you want a better job, more money, or overall better opportunities?
What change you want is probably calling for a change of actions. In order to create different and better results you need to change your actions, because there is a rule of thumb that says same action will produce same result.
Interestingly, however, I have observed many people who are still expecting different results while they are taking the same actions over and over. Sometimes it’s even only wishful thinking with no action at all.
So, what’s up with that? Are you expecting different results while you are taking the same old actions or even no particular action at all? If this is the case, how can you get into the habit of taking different actions in order to produce different, more positive results?
Why it is so Hard to Change the Old Pattern of our Actions?
I’m sure you’ve heard that before, but here is a quick reminder. We are creatures of habits. Yes, that’s right, nothing new here. Most of what we do in any given day is based on habits. From the time you get up, the first thing you do in the morning, how and when you brush your teeth, at what speed you drive your car, where you park your car, to what you eat, all are based on habits.
Because of this, when it comes to changing to our actions, our old habits will try to sneak in any way they can and destroy our intent before it could become habits.
Another reason why it’s not easy to change the course of our actions is that they are pretty much programmed in our subconscious mind. For example, if you are successful, wealthy and fit you most likely have positive and productive action-habits. On the other hand, if you are unsuccessful, broke and overweight, chances are that you have unproductive action-habits.
Now before you start getting offended. I didn’t say that whether you are one of the other makes you a better or worse person. That’s not what it means. But it does make you someone who has action-habits that serve you or don’t serve you.
Understanding that you are in Control
What’s interesting is that many people would say or even truly believe that if they are broke or overweight it’s just fate, and they don’t have anything to do with that. But they are only fooling themselves.
However, those of us who actually like the fact that THEY ARE IN CONTROL have the upper hand. I like to know that I am in control of my money, my health and my weight (to name just a few things) because I AM.
Your bank or your job are not in charge of you wealth, and you doctor is not in charge of your health and weight. YOU are. You are according to your actions.
Take Control of Your Life to Change your Action
It has been said and written many times before that there are two types of people – the leaders and the followers. I would agree with that. It’s obvious even at the family level. We often observe a leader and a follower in couples and siblings. The only problem with that is that often times the follower is not taking action.
This happens to people regardless of their age and gender. It can happen to anyone. It happens even with animals. When my I had both my cats before my Tony passed away he was the leader and Sophie my kitty girl was just happy to follow. Bottom line if there are leaders, there are followers. What you need to understand, though, is that leaders always get the biggest slice of the cake. But why is that?
Why you Need to be a Leader in your Own Life
It’s very hard for someone to take any specific life changing actions when they are not the leader of their own life.
Years ago when I tried to encourage my uncle to come to New York (while I was living there) to expose his magnificent paintings, his wife (being the leader in the family) prevented him. Because my uncle wasn’t the leader of his own life either when he was a young man or a married man, he never did anything with his incredible talent.
In order to be able to take different actions that will lead to different results you need to be a leader, not a follower. In order to be a leader you need to develop more AWARENESS of who you are and what you do. It also calls for more responsibilities and not blaming other people for what’s happened to you.
Now, do not confuse being leader of your own life with being bossy of feeling superior to anyone in your household. That’s not what a leader is. Not a true one anyway. Being the leader of your life means to be able to make decisions that affects you and your results.
Start by becoming aware of what you do on your own accord, and what you do because someone is making you. If no one is interfering with your choices and actions then, look at what you do and try analyze why you’re doing it. You may have self-imposed destructive behaviors – they are very common, or simply bad/non-productive action-habits that you need to first recognize in order to replace them with good ones.
Change your Actions one Day at the Time
For the Most part, the changes that you need to make to bring about different results don’t have to happen overnight. The actions that bring most results to people are the small actions that they take every day, over and over. Just like actions that bring about bad results in your life which are seemly small actions that you just repeat day after day.
To change your results you need to change your actions, but don’t overwhelm yourself by thinking that you have to lift a mountain. Change one little thing every day adding up to more positive and productive actions that will yield to their natural finally which is your results.
Set yourself small goals. Do this for a month at the time and each month will turn into a year before you know it. After a while you won’t have to think about it so much because it will become your new habits and your results will change.
So, what’s your thoughts on that? Please, let us know in the comment area!
Hi Sylviane,
Great post and very interesting topic.I think many have this problem that they want and dream good results but they never thought why they are not getting ,they dont know that they need a change.You said it right it is all psychological and they have developed a habit of keep doing that again and again thats why they find it difficult to change them self .Other thing is control over mind,they dont have it .So for change first thing you have to train your mind accordingly.
Thank You
Shorya Bist
From Youthofest
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Hi Shorya,
Yes, it all comes down to this. Making the changes first and the results will follow.
Thank you for coming 🙂
I love your take on this, Sylviane. I agree that we are responsible for our own outcomes. I know that there are obstacles in life. Sometimes we hit more than others. But it’s up to us to deal with them, to choose what we do and how we behave, and to take control. Otherwise we’re letting ourselves be a victim of circumstance. The one thing we can guarantee if we do nothing is that nothing will change.
Some of it does go back to family, if you think about it, the ones who “follow” never really learn how to lead because someone else is doing it. Then when you get out into the world you don’t know what to do. Having small goals and taking small actions every day is a great idea. And it can be very empowering because you suddenly realize you can do something about your life and change the things you want to change.
Did your uncle ever do anything with his paintings? I find those stories so sad because people could be great if they let themselves be. Don’t you wish you could just drag them kicking and screaming?? It’s one of the things I feel strongly about (letting people make decisions, find their own way) and something I always enjoyed about teaching. It’s such a great thing when you see people have that “light bulb moment” when they realize they have power in their own lives.
Great topic, and one that I bet we can all relate to at one time or another!
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Hi Carol,
Thank you for your juicy comment as always.
Yes, I do try to write about topics that most people can relate too, myself included 🙂
Wouldn’t it be great if schools/teachers were to teach this to people? Most of them don’t, but I’m sure you were a great teacher, and looks like they lost out big time when they lost you in that field.
My Uncle wasted two talents of his which was music and paintings. He could also do wood work like you wouldn’t believe (when I say was he’s still alive). He was never encouraged by his parents to do anything with his talents. Both my grandmother and grandfather were stupid that way! Then he marry someone who wasn’t any better.
Results? me and my mother both have a painting from my uncle that we got for free, but that he could have sold for tons of money. He gave all of his painting for free to friends and family.
If he was still young I would kick is ass….. YES! And tell his wife to buzz OFF, but when you are younger you don’t think of doing those things, and I had no authority do so either.
Wonderful indeed Sylviane!
Change WILL happen whether we like or want it or not. So, it’s best to be geared up for it and accept and adapt to it willingly and happily, though most people aren’t able to do that. 🙂
I agree to what you mentioned in the post that to get the results we want, we need to change our actions and ways such that we attract that positiveness in our life that will help in the change we want. You surely need to be a leader and take full control of your life as well be determined and aim for your goal. Sooner or later the change you wish will come through. I would also add give things time and patience. 🙂
Thanks for sharing. 🙂
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Hi Harleena,
That’s a very good point. Things will change anyway, so being the one who GUIDES such change is a must in order to turn things the way we want to.
Of course, time is needed for everything. Just look at the seasons, everything happens surely, but slowly in its own season. We can’t rush things out. In the meantime we do need patience, indeed.
Thanks for your input, Harleena.
I love this topic Sylviane.
People who adapt in life have the highest success levels. And by success I mean leading a happy fulfilled lifestyle.
Yes, we are creatures of habit by nature, but once we address that issue, we can then understand that we can change our habits to be more productive, more balanced, more of whatever we want. Changing habits one by one is pretty easy to do when you compare it to a lifestyle of being miserable, unhappy, and worse, being one of those people who do the blame game.
One thing that irritates me is when people tell me “I can’t do that, you can Donna because you are so strong” Grrrrrrr I wasn’t born this way, I worked hard at it I tell them. Some will understand and start their journey to wellness, but some will do the blame game and be stagnant.
I think it irritates me because I did have to work hard at changing my habits. And I still do!
Donna
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Hi Donna,
Yes, that’s a good point.
Lots of people have told me “you’re strong’ too, they just never met me while I was bullied in school, for sure 🙂 I was everything but.
Like you I’ve learned how to be strong. At times you have no choice and life teaches you that. Like you I’m still working on it.
Weak people tend to make me mad 🙂 and I want to kick their butt! I want to kick myslef in the butt when I think of my bullied days. Gosh if I could only go back there!!!
Thanks for sharing this with us, Donna.
I agree Sylviane, what a great take on this.
A lot of people in life don’t ever put two and two together. We are just creatures of habit. We do what we were taught, we think that’s the only way and that’s the end of it.
Boy do I ever know a lot of people who let others run their lives. I personally find that belittling but some are happy to be the follower.
I think for each of us if we want something different we have to be open to it. Once that is in place then it’s figuring out the best way to go about getting it. I use to never consider myself a leader but my definition was totally different but I march by my own drum, that’s for sure.
Great explanation of this, I love it.
~Adrienne
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I’m so glad you like it Adrienne,
Boy do I know what you mean, I also know a bunch of people who let others rule there lives, and that’s even more common in groups of people where there is a strong religious link, and don’t you dare asking questions that no one has thought about or dared asking before. Just shut up and follow 🙂
I’ve never been a follower and on top of it I was the eldest among my brother and three cousins that I grew up with, so I was the boss from the get go LOL! Even my mother had a hard time ruling me, so to speak.
One day a cop stop us on the road while driving because my mother wanting to be a good Samaritan flashed her headlights to warn crossing traffic and that dude saw her and stopped us. When he approach the car and told my mom why he stopped her I started telling him off (I was around 10 years old) and my mother had to tell me to shut up!
I don’t know why, I’ve always been such a big mouth like that 🙂
Thanks for coming, Adrienne.
Hi Sylviane
I love this post and yes it is something most people can relate to. I have a post card stuck on the side of my printer in my office that says “For things to change 1st I Must Change”. It was sent to me as a participant in the very first seminar I did with Robert Kiyosaki back in 1992.
I have for 21 years had it visible as it reminds me I am responsible and if I am not getting the results in my life I want then I need to change something.
I learned to take responsibility for myself many years ago. It is the only way to freedom.
That is a very sad story about your Uncle but he allowed it to happen. His story is certainly not an unusual one and I am sure many great talents and dreams go to waste.
Thanks for a great post Sylviane.
Sue
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Hi Sue,
You have a great reminder in front of you every day, indeed. One of the best. If people took more responsibilities about themselves even diseases and sickness could be avoided lots of time. I truly believe that.
Yes, my uncle wasted two great talents of his, painting, and music, but for sure is not the only one. I agree he let it happened. He could have come to New York 18 years ago when I invited him, but he chose to follow his stupid wife’s advice. What can you do?
Thanks for coming, Sue 🙂
Hi Sylviane,
The example of your uncle reminds me of some folks over here too 🙂 They are not taking actions to make changes but follow what others want them to do. I think they are blind enough and reason it as pure love or something to cover up that they are not taking action on what they want. Well, excuses 😉
We, humans, resist to change and that’s very true about habits as if something becomes a habit, then we don’t really need anymore push to keep things going on. That’s a very smart move on changing one little thing every day, but sometimes the absolute truth is that people think some actions can change easily if they want to 😉 I admit I used to think so too, but that’s very hard indeed unless we have more than enough motivation on it.
I think we need to understand our limits on that too, right Sylviane? 🙂
Cheers…
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Hi Mayura,
Yes, there are so many people like “my uncle” letting other people rule their lives and not even being too much aware of it.
I am very gald that you are exposed to this type of information as a young man, so you can learn things at your age that many of us didn’t even have any idea about.
Then of course, is when you apply what you learn that you can make a true difference in your results.
thanks for your feedbacks.
Perfect article for me to read this morning Sylviane as I realized last night how much fear is controlling my life and what I need to do. Interesting to that I read your article this morning which talks about fear, and read another article a few minutes ago from Sonia on the same topic. I think the God is trying to tell me something and it’s coming through loud and clear! When God speaks…!!! I do want different results and I’ve overcoming some aspects and making changes one step at a time. I’m glad you reminded us to take small actions because I want to conquer it all at one time, but that’s not possible, I know. Thanks for the encouragement. Great article.
Regards,
Barbara
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Hi Barbara,
I love it when one of my posts is part of a chain reaction of the answers that someone needs when they need it. This tell me that I’m on the right track and especially because this blog is all about inspirations and hints that I get. Sometimes, it hits me when I walk or wake up, but it usually pretty sudden.
You remind me of someone I know well, my mother, who had (I say had because she is now ill with Alzheimer disease) a very strong appearance/personality like you, but had many fears that people would have never guessed she had. You don’t appear to have much fears, and if you didn’t say, I’d bet not too many people would guess.
I am glad you are receiving all the answers you need right now. God is good 🙂
What a fantastic post, Sylviane – and so in tune with my own current thinking, as I’ve been giving a lot of thought, recently, to changing and improving my habits.
I like what you say about getting in charge of your own life – it’s very easy to let our bad habits get the better of us.
A couple of small changes I’m trying to make at the moment involve my time management – I’m aware that keeping on top of social media and blog commenting has been eating into too much of my time and getting in control of ME, so I’ve just started a new regime whereby I spend at least an hour, when I first go online, just planning and writing content, so this most important task doesn’t get pushed out. I’m also using a timer to make sure I take regular breaks, to avoid having lengthy, unbroken sessions at the screen.
It can be very difficult to break bad habits – I find replacing them with more constructive, fulfilling behaviours is one of the best tactics.
As you say, it’s all about taking control and recognizing we’re accountable for our own actions – and their outcomes!
Thanks for this – another very inspiring and helpful post,
Sue
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Hi Sue,
It’s always nice to see you on one of my blogs 🙂
I so understand how social media and blogs commenting can take a heck of our time. Sometimes I push back important things for that action alone. But the thing is that social media and commenting is very important as well.
It really is the blood stream of my traffic and commenting on my own blogs at the moment. But it isn’t something that brings in the money directly so to speak, so in my head it’s like “free work”, but can’t do without it.
I am glad you enjoyed this post, Sue 🙂
Hi Sylviane,
What a great topic! Once I realized that I needed to change the way that I think in order to make any real changes in my life – that was the game changer for me. For so long I was stuck in negative thinking, negative expectations, and negative results. I didn’t realize the amount of control that I held, but once I did it was very freeing!
Thanks for sharing,
Stacy
Hi Stacy,
Yes, taking control is very freeing indeed.
Like you once’s I realized that I was tied up into so many things and broke loose it was life changing, indeed.
Thanks for your input.
Hi Sylviane,
This is a great post and I can sure relate in so many ways.
We must all learn not only to not fear change, but to also Embrace Change. We must always plan for and be prepared for constant change.
We learn and grow due to change. When we are faced with a situation that forces a change of some kind, our awareness is expanded. Whether we follow through on it or not, depends on us. Sometimes we lament about change and that just keeps us stuck.
If we want to move forward, we need to embrace change. Each change is a turning page. It is about closing one chapter and opening another one. Changes bring new beginnings and excitement to life.
Thanks for such a great post Sylviane. Lovely!!
Be Blessed,
Neamat
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Hi Neamat,
Yes, indeed, we must embrace change, because change does happen anyway. If we look at back in our lives we all have to admit that things have changed whether we wanted it or not. Many things will change even we wished they didn’t, so when it comes to make positive change we should go ahead and do it.
Thank you so much for coming and sharing your thoughts.
Hi Sylviane,
It’s too bad that we tend to give our power away to so many people and things. Imagine what kind of world we could create if everyone was encouraged to bring their talents to the spotlight.
Learned helplessness is a result of giving our power away to our problems instead of using our personal power to get what we want and to live the lives we were meant to live.
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Hi Justin,
Yes, Amen to that.
We tend to give lots of power to our problems and not enough to the solutions. I guess that’s the story of the world. The news, media, and TV are promoting this type behavior every single day on top of everything, so they certainly don’t help. That’s why people need to have a coach.
Thank you for coming by, Justin.
Hi Sylviane
I admit I had to chuckle when you said “where you park your car”. Once we parked the car in a different place at the mall and went out the usual door and had to hunt for the car for awhile. So guilty of parking in the same place when going to stores. But some of our usual ritual stuff is a no brainer and therefore saves us a lot of time.
But what is not working we definitely need to change. Been working on that instead of just talking about what I would like to do someday. I don’t have that many somedays left in my life. Not that I am ancient, but I am not longer young. Don’t know how my new challenges will transpire into gains, but if I never try, it will of course never happen.
We usually are our own worst enemies, critics and we hold ourselves back from risks, possibilities and great accomplishments. I am working on changing the odds. Today is the start of the rest of my life and I need to embrace it and quick looking back and regretting the mistakes and the overlooked opportunities, they will never be retrieved.
Very good wake up call.
Mary
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Hi Mary and nice seeing you here again,
Well, I here to tell you that it’s never too late. As long as you are alive you can still make some positive changes in your life. So, I know for sure that it’s not too late for you.
Yes, there are some habits that are good and the examples I gave are not necessarily bad habits, but I put them there to show the reader how animals of habits we are 🙂 Your example with your car is a very good one to illustrate and reinforce what I was saying.
Thank you for your valuable input and nice seeing you here 🙂
Having started to make some real changes in my life over the past six years, Sylviane, I have begun to look back over past events with new eyes. I can see how I was foolish enough to allow myself to be used and bullied – something I hadn’t quite realized before. However, I also realized that I had to take responsibility for giving people permission to treat me like they did. When I did take responsibility a lot changed – the process continues. Thanks for reaffirming what’s been happening in my life.
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Hi Corinne,
Do I hear you dear!
I could say the exact same thing for me. I allowed myself to be treated like a piece of trash and just thinking about it can make me very mad sometimes. That’s why I want to help as many people as I can not to be “me” and wake up an smell the coffee so to speak 🙂
Thanks for your valuable input 🙂
Hi Sylviane, you have reminded me of a definition of madness. ‘Doing the same thing while expecting a different result.’ We can often spot this in people around us, but are way slower to pick when we are doing it ourselves. Which is why we need a coach on hand to gently point it out!
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Hi Sandy, and nice to see you here 🙂
Yes, we sure do see people like that everyday. They complain about their fate, but do absolutely nothing to change it. This post was written especially for such people.
Thanks so much for coming by and for your input.
Sylviane, One of my favorite quotes is “insanity is doing the same thing every day and expecting different results”. I decided yesterday to change my diet a little. I needed new clothes and I really need to lose weight. I have my carrots packed and ready to go today for work to snack on instead of muffins or cookies. I hope I can make this one change to make a difference to me. I’m saying I’m going on a diet, just changing one thing at a time. I also have co-worker doing the same so I hope that will inspire me more each day.
Some changes are really hard to make!
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Hi Lisa,
Good for you. You see the word “diet” is depressing on its own, but saying I’m going to make a little difference in my eating habits everyday is much more encouraging and easy to follow.
Keep going with your carrots, Lisa, you will love it and you will feel more mental and physical energy as a bonus. Than you’ll feel better about yourself as well.
Thanks for sharing this with us 🙂
I totally agree, some people try to do it with wishful thinking, which is absolutely ridiculous!
Like you say, everything begins with taking control and once you take control, you get a clear idea of what to do and what not to do. I agree, that we can make a lot of mistakes and that is when we’ll get an idea of our, like you say, non-productive action habits.
It’s not rocket science and you’ve simplified it really well. Good post!
Aditya
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Hi Aditya,
Yes, it’s can become quite ridiculous to wish change and do nothing about it. Wishful thinking won’t do it, will it? We need to walk the walk in other words.
Thanks for your feedbacks.
It really takes a lot of effort to change a habit. But with perseverance and determination to become a better being, it is never impossible.
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Glad you enjoyed and thanks for coming, Arianne.
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