You were used to live comfortably, not having to think about your budget.
But your situation has changed lately, because you’ve lost your job, while you haven’t lost the habit of big spending.
So you started spending too much on credit cards, and eventually found out that you were spending above your means.
You’re not broke, but you know that you can’t keep going this way, because more money is coming out than it’s coming in.
What could you do to get out of this merry-go-round, and get back on your feet financially, while learning to be content with what you have, and build a solid future?
Going through Life Changing Situations
In life, situations do change.
I used to be financially comfortable, but came all the way down to being totally broke. It was a tough awakening, and a tough adjustment for me too.
What helped me to get back on my feet, and eventually surpass myself, was my own personal development training which taught me everything I needed to know in order to get back up emotionally and financially.
I’m not a financial adviser, I am a life coach who helps people with painful emotions to transform, and fulfill their potentials and dreams.
In this post I want to share with you what I know about your particular case, and how to come out of it alive and well.
At the end of this article, I have a gift for you as well.
Why Drastic Changes Happen in Life
When my financial life went down the drain, I didn’t know anything about what I’m about to teach you here.
I only wish I did.
How and why do we go from having it all to losing it all, and finding ourselves at the other end of the rope, so to speak?
The main reason is because we are just reaping what we have been attracting subconsciously all this time, which eventually cached up with us.
Let me explain…
Let’s say you grew up with a good dose of subtle, yet, negative beliefs when it comes to money.
Don’t worry, most people have.
Those negative beliefs were never very obvious, but they were there. Maybe you heard your parents often say things like “rich people are never totally honest,” or “money doesn’t grow on trees,” or anything of the kind.
Those common statements, became your common beliefs, and what is more is that they became your subconscious beliefs, thus part of what is called your subconscious programming.
The specific time frame where our subconscious mind is being programmed is between the ages of 0 and 7 years old, for the most part, but it is still actively created until age 16.
However, regardless of that subtle “lack mentality” programming, somehow, you’ve managed to get married to someone who was successful, or maybe you were smart enough to choose a field of expertise in which you did pretty good and made a comfortable living.
But I’m here to tell you that a negative programming tends to catch up with us, sooner or later. And by the way, it works the same way with a positive programming as well. Whatever your personal programming is, it will come back and back again, like a specific pattern.
I’ve seen it happen with family members, I’ve seen it happen with clients, I’ve seen it happen in my own case, and I’ve seen it happen while hearing about other people’s stories.
Why?
Because it happens all the time.
Actually, when I write about such topics I usually get comments saying; yes that’s exactly what happened to me!
Here is a comment I got not too long ago, in response to one of my articles:
“Have you ever heard of someone who seemed to have it all, yet they’ve fallen from grace big time?”
Hi Sylviane, that’s a great question. And I am vividly reminded of my late wife. She was a superstar yet ended up in a hospital ward in excruciating pain from the effects of chronic substance abuse from the previous 10 years.
How could a person who was top student in her school, who went onto achieving success in the medical field, and then in the sales field – a person who was lauded by everyone who knew her – end up like that?
Unresolved issues. Issues that can be traced back to her childhood. Yet she tried therapy, she tried coaches, she tried self-help programs – but to no avail.
It’s hard to say it, but coaching etc has virtually zero effect if the client has not made a solid commitment to the process of change.
That said, readers who want change and are prepared to do something about it should read your post carefully – and then take action
That comment illustrates perfectly what I’m talking about here.
In your case, even if you managed to have it all, but happened to have some type of negative programming deep down inside, whether you’re aware of it or not, it’s going to catch up with you, sooner or later, but it usually does.
Why?
Because it’s our subconscious mind that runs the show.
That’s its job. That’s what the subconscious mind does.
The subconscious mind’s purpose is not to reflect and analyze, it’s do DO according to its programming. We could say that it works like a computer.
Have you ever driven to the wrong place by mistake?
You meant to drive another way, but your old habits took over and unintentionally you ended up to that old place, or taking that old road of yours which you didn’t intended to take.
How in the world can something like that even happen?
Aren’t you well awake when you drive?
Of course you are, or at least you’d better be, but the reason why you drove to a totally wrong place while being well awake and conscious, it’s because we drive mostly subconsciously. Your subconscious programming is what took you to that old spot, even though you thought you were driving consciously.
It’s the exact same thing happening with your life, whether it’s financial or otherwise.
What you and I want consciously, and what we are subconsciously programmed with can be as different as day and night.
You may want to be a millionaire, but deep down inside you feel that rich people are not totally honest, or worst.
What could be the result of that?
Somehow you managed to get that money after all, but it was only a temporary situation, because your subconscious programming is going to catch up with you. It’s going to protect you against money – against not being honest.
So, in the end you are going to lose that money, somehow.
If that’s where you are right now, don’t lose heart, it is possible to fix the problem.
First, you can find a temporary solution, and then with a permanent one.
Starting with a Temporary Solution for your Financial Problems
If right this second you are not able to live at the financial level that you’ve gotten used to, simply learn how to be content with less. At least for now.
I know it’s easier said than done, but bear with me for a second here.
-
Analyze the root of your expensive tastes
Maybe you’ve got into the habits of expensive tastes because it was filling a void of some kind.
It’s not uncommon that people will get expensive things to make themselves feel more important, to feel more valuable, etc.
They are looking to that external shinny object to fill an internal void.
Your value as a person, doesn’t depend on the things you own or the things you wear. You need to find your true value of yourself.
Be honest and ask yourself questions like:
- How does buying expensive things make me feel?
- What am I trying to prove?
- How do I feel if I don’t get expensive things?
Just by being honest enough to ask yourself those questions, you are bound to find some powerful answers.
-
Practice Money Saving Habits
Why not trying to cook your own food, instead of going to eat out so often?
On top of it, unless you really hate cooking, it’s a very therapeutic occupation that also helps you save money, and your health.
- Make sure you have a regular day to go to the grocery store like twice a month, or once a week, but refrain from going grocery shopping in between, because we spend more money when going back and back again, rather than going on a regular day with a purpose.
- Instead of going window shopping or to the mall, go take a walk in a park or the country side. You will find it refreshing and revitalizing. And it won’t cost you a penny.
I could go on and on, but the ideas that you could come up with to save money until you get yourself back on your feet are endless.
Working on the Long Term Solution
How successful an athlete would be if he wasn’t ready in his mind first?
What would his chances of winning be if he wasn’t able to go through the race mentally first and seeing himself winning?
Very little, if not at all.
That’s why athletes are known to do half of the work mentally, and the other half physically.
It’s the same thing with your financial situation.
You are the athlete of your financial life.
Right now you may need a temporary solution that you can implement right away, but eventually you’ll need a long term solution that will allow you to live the life that you want.
If you want to keep living the high life, offering yourself everything you want, and not ending up broke in the end, you need to work from the inside out.
As a start, figure out why you ended up in the red financially.
What is the root of the problem?
Secondly, work on your mindset and learn how to attract all the money you want, before spending the money you don’t have.
As I said above, I’m not a financial adviser, but I do help people like you with their long term financial solutions, because we work from the inside out.
Do you want to stay in a long-term, financially damaging state where not only you’ll be out of money but you’ll owe so much it will be extremely difficult if not impossible to get out of?
You don’t have to be on the road to financial ruin. Many times it’s a simple process of learning how to think differently about money and knowing how to overcome the challenges that are before you, right now and in the future.
Never again do you have to see yourself as without hope! You can fulfill your dreams and hopes.
But in order for that to happen you must take the first step.
Today that first step may be my FREE course titled 5 Concrete Steps To Attract More Money. In it, you will learn how to…
- Understand what Money is All About
- Understand EVERY Aspect of Money
- Develop a Deep Money Consciousness to Help you Get More of it
- Have a Recipe to Attract Money
- Have More Confidence about Money…
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Don’t wait… fill out the form below, and get on the road to hope!”
Hi Sylviane,
I once heard it said that we are the sum of our thoughts and experiences. What we choose to put in our minds becomes who we are and breaking the habits of our stories can be so challenging.
I love the practical application and advice you offer on how to change our money habits. It starts with that short-term, habit breaking solution that goes into the long-term.
I think too that many of us believe even if we have money, or had it, that for some reason “things” can satisfy us and bring us comfort when the truth is “things” are temporary and fleeting. They actually suck the money out of us and that’s a dangerous place to be when you’re in someone’s position like you’ve outlined.
That’s when you have to learn who you really are so that you don’t get sucked into buying things when you shouldn’t be.
Great post Syvliane!!!! I so appreciate your specificity. I’ve been there many years ago and I identify really well with the experience and your solutions are spot on!
Happy New Year Sylviane!
~ Don Purdum
Don Purdum invites you to read..The Ten Percent Rule – Building Momentum and Sales Through Your Blog in 2016
Hi Don,
Well, as you know this post came to be that specific because of your help. I think I got it, and will be more and more specific from now on.
I’m glad that you can say that you’ve identified with this, I think many people have, and that’s proof that this post can be helpful for those who need this specific information.
Thanks for all your help and for sharing my post all over the place.
Your rock!!!
Hey Sylviane,
What a great post and I love how you explained how this all works.
Having had my own issues with money because of my upbringing, I can relate to what you’re sharing. Also having worked with you and a few other life coaches I’m come to understand that although you may “think” you’re working on the issue because while you’re awake you’re only thinking positive thoughts.
It’s that subconscious mind that’s always at work and always continuing to steer us in a particular direction. We don’t even know it’s happening. Of course I now have my Mom next door to me and all I hear every single day is how everyone wants her money and how she worries about her kids and their future. It’s like she’s just expecting something to happen because that’s just the way life is.
It’s hard to listen to daily but until you work on those beliefs and finally learn how to change them then with that kind of talk I would end up in the poor house. Luckily I’ve worked with you though and I know how this all works so anyone else having this same issue needs to sing up for your free course and get on the road to a better financial future.
Thanks for sharing this and I’ll be sure to do the same. You have a great day Sylviane and thanks again.
~Adrienne
Adrienne invites you to read..Branding Expert Shares Her 7 Most Valuable Tips
Hi Adrienne,
I so understand what you’re going through, hearing your mother saying those things. Unfortunately she too old for you to help her change at this point, and most of all she might not be able to understand.
I cannot tell you how glad I am that you have that shield of your personal development knowledge so, you can just hear her, but protect yourself from believing what she says, because you know better.
Her generation was a very negative one and that went on even for people that are younger than your mom. I know that my own mother used to hate her childhood and even her younger days, because she was well aware that they just sucked, in many kind of ways. The “good old days” were not always all that good, you know!
So, aren’t we fortunate that we are here now, where the light is getting brighter and brighter?
I certainly hope that course will help people who need it. I think it’s pretty good 🙂 I’ve worked long hours on it too.
Thank you so much for coming and for sharing, Adrienne.
Hey Sylviane,
You are SO right and even when we go walking she’s telling me things that are going to happen to me health wise. She’s expecting bad things to happen so she starts worrying about them and of course I’m the one that hears everything. It’s depressing if you must know the truth and no matter how many times I’ve asked her to NOT talk like that she can’t help herself. It’s ingrained in her soul.
You have to learn how to shut that out and I have. I still hate hearing it but it doesn’t phase me consciously or subconsciously anymore. I know that had always been my biggest problem but until working with a life coach we have NO clue.
~Adrienne
Adrienne invites you to read..Branding Expert Shares Her 7 Most Valuable Tips
Hey Again Adrienne,
I know, brace your heart.
Yes, in the case of your mom, because it’s been close to a 100 years 🙂 she’s been shaped that way, there is no way it will ever change. It’s dang engraved in her system alright!
What really matters at this point, is that you do NOT listen as you’ve been doing, but I know it’s tough. You’re doing great.
I remember when I turned 30, I had some stupid friends a bit older than me that started to telling me all things that were going to go wrong as soon as I turned that age. The good thing is that I did NOT believe them for a minute, and to this day, my health has been great. Not of that bullshit happened to me. I have been so blessed so far, but it’s because of my mindset too, I know.
I had another crazy friend who told me I was going to start getting fat when I turned 40. Well, still the same size as when I was 16. Not bad for a middle aged woman LOL!
The thing is that people live in the world they want to believe. So if they want to believe they will be poor, sick and fat, well they will be. But not us 🙂
Hi, Sylviane
Wishing you to have a fantastic 2016!
How easy we can let our subconscious minds to run/control our life! it usually is not a good things. Our subconscious minds are filled with all negative things due to the ways we grew up with tradition.
As far as money concern, I can relate to that. I have been there. I was so careless about managing my money. I am glad you did lay out some short term and long term practical ways for us to ponder. It is so truth, we won’t be financially wealth until we will change the ways we think and take action.
Thanks for sharing your insight!
– Stella Chiu
Stella Chiu invites you to read..10 Keys to the Success of your 2016 New Year Resolution
Hi Stella,
I’m glad you could relate to the post, and that you have come to an understanding of your subconscious mind.
Thank you for coming and commenting on this subject.
Hi Sylviane
Thanks for your post on money – perfect for this time of year
Made money, lost it. Been there done that!
My problem has been that I love to make lots of money but I also love to spend it. Hedonism rules.
But in recent years, I’ve become more frugal and careful with money. Finally, sanity prevailed. I no longer HAVE to stay in 5 star hotels when 4 star is good enough. I no longer need to own the latest European car – in fact, I don’t own a car anymore (sold the Benz and the Lexus)
It’s a freeing thing to have dramatically reduced my cost base. It takes the pressure off knowing that I don’t need to earn nearly as much money to break even.
Thanks for your timely message and certainly if people need help in this area they should talk to you.
Kim
Kim Willis invites you to read..9 Reasons Why Every Business Should Have a Blog
Hi Kim,
At least your choices are pretty easy, which one between 5 stars and 4 stars?
However, you are the proof that even people who can afford expensive things, one need to either be able to attract ALL the money they need, or tow, be a bit more careful about how they manage money.
Thanks for your valuable feedback.
Sylviane,
I love that post.
I really like what the person said in the comment – “coaching etc has virtually zero effect if the client has not made a solid commitment to the process of change”.
I really think it all starts there. A person can go through all the courses, coaching, rehabilitation, lessons or anything else they want but if they are not committed to the process of change it will do them no good.
We are driven by our subconscious and in order to change our subconscious we have to decide we are going to change and that decision has to be deep down inside of us so it affects the subconscious.
When it comes to financial things I totally agree with you we are taught at a very young age to fear having money. I know all I heard when I was growing up was “we can not afford that or we just make do with what we have.” I remember my mom spending hours hunting for the very cheapest thing and in the end it would have been cheaper to have bought the item at the first store because the gas cost more than the difference in the item at the first store and the one she finally bought because it was the cheapest.
To this day my mom will drive her check to pay her taxes 26 miles round trip and pay the parking meter when she gets there to save the price of a stamp.
She was teaching us the fear of money.
I have a degree in economics so have over come a lot of those incorrect lessons. I still think I have a deep seated fear of success though and I am trying to work on that.
Some really good points and lots of things to think about.
Really enjoyed your post.
Dee Ann
Dee Ann Rice invites you to read..It’s All In A Conversation
Hi Dee,
Yes, it’s like the saying, you can bring the horses to the water, but you can’t make them drink. A coach will bring you to the water, even telling you how to drink, but he can’t drink for you.
I love that you explained the money story of your mom here, because it really goes to show that a belief is stronger than anything, even stronger than logic. If you check my free money course, you’ll see what I mean. Yep, the gas for 26 miles and parking ticket has got to be more than the stamp. But the saddest part is that if you believe that you can’t afford a stamp, what are you going to afford in this life?
I think that like Adrienne, you have to fight some mean money daemons, and it’s not always easy. I had to fight my own, and there were more than just about money, but how fortunate we are that we have access to way more information than our mothers did.
Thank you so much for your input.
Hi Sylviane,
You are Really Awesome, This post on Money is great and much advisable post to all. this year will be great for you.
Regards,
Emma.
Emma Williams invites you to read..S And D Tax Services
Great article about “live comfortably,don’t think budget.”thank you for sharing it is really helpful to me live comfortably, not having to think about your budget.
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Hi Aryan,
Glad you like the post and thank you for coming.
~Sylviane
Its one of my favourite post, thanks for sharing with us…!
You’re welcome Viki!