Let’s be honest, being a happy shiny puppy, as Melody Fletcher lovingly calls it, is not always easy. We are all faced with challenges that life throws at us which may affect our mood in a negative way.
Even though none of us were born with a negative spirit, the way we were raised, and the circumstances we found ourselves in as we were growing up has a lot to do with our attitude towards life. However, no matter what conditions you grew up in, at some point, it’s up to you to say, enough, and take actions to change things. If you don’t, there is no hope that anything will get better in your life. As a matter of fact, I can assure you that it won’t.
Unfortunately, most of us didn’t grow up in a household where we were told about the law of attraction and other laws of the universe or how the subconscious mind works; did we? This doesn’t mean that we grew up with bad parents or that we weren’t happy. No, not at all, but there is a difference between having grown up with parents who loved you and did their best to raise you, and parents who knew and understood how to teach their children how master health, success, wealth, relationships, and spirituality.
If you were born in a family that gave you all that, then you might have nothing to learn, but just enjoy your life in bliss at this point. But if not, it’s time to learn how you can build a positive attitude amid the negativity around you.
Why is Negativity the Most Prominent Mind State for Many People?
If positiveness was common change in our world we would never hear of war, crime, depression, theft, suicide, hunger, or even diseases. So, in case you were in doubt, most of our world is pretty much surrounded by negative feelings and vibrations. Then, because of new technology we have the media which is able to elaborate on such negativity by showing it to us live and talk about it for weeks, months and even years after the fact. They are doing such a good job that it’s not hard for anyone not naturally optimistic to lose any hope. However, if you don’t want to repeat the history of your parents and grand-parents, you must find a way to break though and break the cycle of negativity.
Why am I Talking About your Parents and Grand-Parents?
Besides the rest of the whole wild world, there is another world, much smaller, which has even more impact on our life. This world is called family. Our direct family is the most important world who is going to affect us as a person, and how we are taught to perceive things in life. The good news, however, is that we, as the human family, are getting closer and closer to our higher self as generations go by. If you take a look at your own background I am certain that you can see that.
For example, when my mother was a child there was no such thing as “listening” to what children had to say. As a matter of fact, my mother who used to love to talk was often made to “shut up” either with vocal warnings or by an adult’s hand on her mouth. Back then, there were very few people who would even have thought that this type of behavior on a child could have a very negative effect. This is just one example of the type of mistakes that adults use to make with children.
Today, however, most cultures understand that such behavior would bring about some type of negative effects on a child all the way to adulthood. But that’s now.
When my mother became a mother herself, she sure made sure that my brother and I could say whatever we wanted to say. ALWAYS. She knew first hand the frustrations of having an adult to make you shut your mouth when all you want to do is ask a question or express yourself.
In this case, the negative effects of such action stopped right there. However, that doesn’t mean that they all did. Some of the things that my mother “learned” as a child she unwillingly transmitted to her own children. This is why many of our deep rooted beliefs about money, achievements, relationships, God, life or death are not really coming form us, but before us. From generations behind us. This is why when I try to go beyond my fears; I am not only going beyond my own fears, but beyond my mother’s and even my grand- mother’s fears. It’s up to me to break the vicious circle, no matter what that may be.
We Are Taught Negativity by Default
We have been taught negative things, not by lack of love, but by defaults, which has had more or less impacted on our life. The point is to recognize it and do our best to snap out of it.
When I got to my teenage years I started to analyze a lot of things that I had “learned” by default and seriously started doubting them by using my own brain to see if they made sense or not. One of the first things my brother and I got rid of was superstition. My grand-mother was a superstitious machine and she passed some along to my mother.
My brother and I had two choices; we could keep the family tradition and be ruled by superstitions like my mother and grand-mother were, or we could just CHOOSE to cut it out by NOT BELIEVING in such thing. Fortunately for us, we chose the second option. The one choice only freed us from all the negative effects of superstition. Eventually, because we chose freedom from superstition we even helped my mother to get free as well.
How can you Build a Positive Attitude Amongst Negativity
The world is growing spiritually; there is no doubt about that. That’s why you are seeing all those blogs about personal development, many life coaches coming into the scene, spiritual growth seminars, self help books, etc. However, we are still living among the naysayers and even evil people out there. But this doesn’t need to stop us in our search for positive attitude, because positive attitude brings about positive results.
God or the Universe, whatever you want to call it, gave you a marvelous brain, and you need to use it. One of the most marvelous ways we can use our brain is to “question” things and think. Some people may do it more naturally then others, but we can ALL do it.
Choose to be with people who are more positive and up building, and less with people who are not. Develop a habit to read personal development blogs and books. Learn more about how you can change your subconscious mind programming and how to improve your life. Learn how to meditate and get acquainted with the person inside. By doing this you can and will be able to build a positive attitude amongst negativity.
So, it’s your turn. What do you have to say about building a positive attitude and what are you doing about it?
Hi Sylviane,
Great points.
I have been reading books by Anthony Robbins to help me the power of the mind and positive thinking, and to understand how to change my mindset. I haven’t been a negative thinker, but it’s too easy to get caught in the small details, things that makes you spend too much energy on issues that you shouldn’t think about at all.
And the same goes for positive people. Like you said, it’s so important to be around people who are very positive and help to encourage you, and will help you grow instead of stop growing.
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Hey Jens,
Nice to see you here.
Certainly, Anthony Robbins is a good teacher of the improvement of the mind. I’ve spent the past six years reading basically ONLY personal development books and it really changed my vision of things and, yes, ultimately my life.
Thanks for coming by 🙂
Hi Sylviane, People tell me that I was born with the Happy gene because I have a positive attitude. But that isn’t true. My positive attitude is born of enduring tough times and appreciating the good times.
You’re absolutely right, negativity is prevalent, which is unfortunate. There is so much to be grateful for in life.
It’s interesting that you mention time where children were seen and not heard. Today there seems to be so much emphasis on making children happy that some seem to be struggling when they face the challenges of real life.
Perhaps there is a happy medium?
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Hi Carolyn,
I totally agree that for the most part true happiness doesn’t come from birth, but with the fact that we have learned to appreciate. Amen to that.
In the 1930’s when my mother was born, children were for the most part ignored. Not that they weren’t love, but they were not put on a pedestal to say the least. Today, people have no control over their kids and that’s where a lot of problems come from. A happy medium is needed here, indeed.
But at least, today, children are heard and free to express themselves and people do listen.
Thanks for your feedbacks, Carolyn
I agree. The way to break free is the cut the cycle of negativity itself. Whatever it maybe be, from our past or from the media. Then we can truly start to take control and not outside forces.
Hi Jacob,
So true. We can cut off anything we want basically it’s all a matter of how much we want it.
Thanks for your comment 🙂
I love this, because it is so true: negativity is everywhere. It seems like the default position for everything is negative. I think some of it can be traced back to religion – whether we are raised Christian, Jewish, Muslim – there is always a threat for doing “bad” things and being punished and making sure you follow the rules or feel guilty for breaking them. So it gets into your brain and you can’t help it. And like you said, the news doesn’t help. You would think the world was constantly on fire. Every bad thing that ever happens turns into a huge, endless story.
It’s also true that you must THINK for yourself. Don’t just blindly believe something or do something but think about it and choose. When I used to teach, this was one thing I always taught my students above everything. Don’t listen to me, don’t ask me, think for yourself! My favorite question was always “what do YOU think?”
A few years ago I got interested in Buddhist philosophy because it takes the default position that everything is GOOD. It’s so hard to live by sometimes but it’s a good way to start and end your day. If you expect good things, you will get good things. If you spend the day thinking negative thoughts, you are only going to get negative results.
Thanks for sharing and have a positive, GOOD day!
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Hi Carol,
As I was reading your comment it came back to me that you mentioned that in one of your recent posts that you get what you expect. I know you know all about this. However, so many, many people still don’t know that. Today I took a walk with a friend of mine and I had to stop her and remind her that the more she complains the more she will receive lots to complain about. I know all about it because it use to be me 🙂
That’s right, I had forgotten that you are a teacher (or was), I am sure you must have been a good one, I can see that in your posts. I love when you write… I want you to do this… I totally hear the teacher there.
Wow, religions! I dedicated over 10 years of my life in one them and I was told that I was supposed to feel free and good, except that I felt like crap all the time, for the same very reason you mentioned. Don’t do this is bad, if you do it you will be punished and so forth and so on… After 10 years I couldn’t take it anymore and said, thanks, but no thanks 🙂
Thanks for your excellent feedback again, Carol 🙂
Hey Syviane,
I was lucky to grow up in a family that at least one parent that was very spiritual and positive. I thank God for that and the resilience that has given me. However there is still lots for me to learn and I hope that I can continue to build on the positive outlook with my own children.
Positivity when practiced and repeated over and over again can have some truely amazing consequences. You never know when you need to be prepared and able to pull your positivity card out of your back pocket.
I have always said it is something that should be learnt at school.
Beth 🙂
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Hi Beth,
Excellent comment there!
You are so right, positivity should be learned in schools and we’d better have some in reserve in case we really, really need it. As a matter of fact, it’s interesting that I started studying about this in 2006, because I really needed it about 2 yeas later, so I totally understand what you are saying here.
Thanks for coming by 🙂
Hey Girl! What a great post. That subconscious mind holds many secrets doesn’t it?
It is an endless journey, which we must constantly discover. I had an AHA moment the other day, which I blogged about. Just when I thought I had it all together with my mindset, my spirituality, my growth, etc, Something came to me when I was meditating during my acupuncture session.
I immediately knew it was a strong message from my subconscious. Grrrr Why do I have to go back to the drawing board again was my knee jerk reaction. But a few deep breathing techniques later, I realized I had to face this message.
Bottom line: Our subconscious is very strong, we can re program it but I find it is a continuous process.
Thanks for this awesome message
Donna
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Hi Donna,
Yes, I know what you mean. When we have been on the journey of the mind for a while sometimes we feel that we have it all down, but once in a while we are reminded that there is still room for improvement. I definitely agree with you, it’s a continuous process.
Thanks for coming, Donna 🙂
This is so true Sylviane, I also agree with everyone else.
Negativity is everywhere. As you probably have heard my story numerous times, I learned to deal with a positive attitude due to my Dad’s health issues.
Just being grateful that he made it another day and that we all had our health will zap that negativity right out. I’ve always been a pretty positive person though. I can tell you that hanging around a lot of negative people can definitely drain you though. That’s why I got rid of all of those people long before I even learned about the law of attraction.
I guess I knew better even back then. But I also think it’s something that can be learned because everyone can change. That I do know for sure. We just have to want it bad enough.
Wonderful message and thank you for sharing it with us.
~Adrienne
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Hi Adrienne,
Yes, I’ve read and heard your story and the fact that you’ve always been a positive person. What a great gift. I can’t say that it was the case for me, but frankly it wasn’t because of me, but the people I was surrounded with in one way or another.
I’m saying this, because, really deep down I’ve always been a jovial person. Like to laugh, joke and have a pretty good sense of humor. But when you are being put down with evilness such as bullies, or seeing your widow mother going through a depression, or have stupid uncles and aunts who don’t understand your sense of humor, believe me it can kill your spirit. It was to escape all that I became an actress 🙂
Thanks for your visit, Adrienne 🙂
This is a smart blog. I mean it. You have so much knowledge about this issue, and so much passion. You also know how to make people rally behind it, obviously from the responses. Youve got a design here thats not too flashy, but makes a statement as big as what youre saying. Great job, indeed.
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Hi Michael,
Thanks for your compliment. I do love what I am writing and teaching about, indeed. This knowledge changed my whole view of things and life in general.
Thanks for coming and hope you’ll be back.
Okay, I found you back through Harleena’s blog. For some reason, your name on your comment on my blog didn’t give me a link back here. We are on the same wavelength with our current posts! You went into much more depth and explanation than I did, so I learned a lot here. Thank you!
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Hi Galen,
Nice to see you here and thanks for going back to Harleena’s blog to find me. I told you that our posts were really similar, and I was very happy to have found yours. I really love how the law of attraction works.
Thanks for coming by and see you soon.
I think it’s easy to fall into negativity because it’s just so easy and takes literally no effort initially. We walk into a store and something goes wrong, we’re immediately angry. It’s hard to get happy after being angry. Yet we can be happy, have the entire day go well, and all it takes is for one person to say the wrong thing to you and you’re miserable the rest of the day.
What can you do? Depends on how you want to live. When I was leading teams of people and working in large hospitals, I basically turned my emotions off during the day. In other words, I kept my shields up at all times, braced for the worst. Strangely enough, it was a great buffer, and I could be open and friendly with no worries that I was giving too much away or being too familiar with anyone.
Now that I work for myself I find it harder to do that, which means it’s easier to fall into negative feelings, especially when marketing and having a day where “no” seems to be my middle name. On those days I step away for awhile, go do something else, and come back to it. Seems to work most of the time, and on those days when it doesn’t, I just ride with it until I’m ready to be positive once more. Luckily, it always comes back.
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Hi Mitch,
Thanks for coming and welcome here 🙂
I agree with you, it’s always easier to be negative than it is to be positive. Great point here. Creating a mental “shield” is a good way to protect yourself. I do it all the time. If you don’t you become too vulnerable to other’s negative vibes.
Our brain is a marvelous tool that is able to create shields not only against negativity, but other harmful things that maybe going on into our lives and surroundings.
Hi Sylviane,
Wow! This is a profound post. I can relate to it for several reasons. I especially like this quote, “This is why when I try to go beyond my fears; I am not only going beyond my own fears, but beyond my mother’s and even my grand- mother’s fears. It’s up to me to break the vicious circle, no matter what that may be.” I have worked hard to overcome what my prior generations have passed on. I recognized a long time ago that I was not going to continue the path I was taught. There is a song that I love by Peter Gabriel called “Shaking The Tree” and it is about doing exactly what you said in this quote. The tree represents past generations and shaking it means you refuse to accept the teachings, much like your brother and you were able to dispute superstition.
I recently wrote a post called, “How Do You Keep An Abundant Mindset In A Poverty Conscious Environment?” and I discussed the fact of how difficult it is to program yourself to stay positive when there is a lot of negativity in our world. You are right on target about how we are in negativity by default, but it is up to us to recognize that we have the power to change to the positive. It isn’t easy and one of the key ways to overcome the negativity is to surround yourself with people who are positive and understand personal development, focus, goal setting, subconscious thought, accountability. In other words, be with people who are like-minded and refuse to let other people pull them into negativity. Enlightening!
Raena Lynn
Hi Raena,
Well, thank you for your deep comment here.
I didn’t know about that song “Shaking The Tree”, but I am going to look it up for sure. I am also going to look for this post of yours that you mention about keeping an abundant mindset in a poverty environment. Thanks for mention these two items for me.
Thank you for coming, I really appreciated it 🙂
Sylviane, aloha. Excellent post on such an important topic. And, Sylviane, you are 100% correct that each of us must choose how we deal with negativity. We can choose a downward spiral, a turning away from the source or uplifting ourselves.
To me, it is freeing that I get to choose how I want to feel.
Many decades ago I attended a seminar to hear a very successful man speak. He said something that has stayed with me ever since. This is what he said.
“Something is going to happen that is going to make you unhappy. Eventually, something will come along that will lift you up and make you happy again. You can choose to wait for it, for something outside of yourself to make you happy, or you can decide to be happy RIGHT NOW. The choice is yours.”
Sylviane, what he said makes so much sense.
Best wishes for a terrific rest of the week. Until next time, aloha. Janet
Hello Janet,
Thank for you for this quote. I love it!
It’s so true. There is always something that is going to make us unhappy, that’s inevitable. However, we have a choice how we are going to react to it.
There is a French a actor that I actually met 20 years ago, he was my favorite actor. He is now 79 and he is known for his eternally good mood. The guy just SMILES all the time.
However, in 1996 he lost his eldest daughter and in 2001 he suffered a stroke which people taught it was the end of him. But, guess what, he recovered a great deal and even though he now walks with a cane he made another movie in 2010 and he still smiling…. always. He is an inspiration to me because of his eternal good mood and love of life.
Thanks for your feedbacks, Janet and have a great week end!
Hi Sylviane,
this is a wonderful post. Chances are we are not raised with negativity, but taught to be realistic and not be unrealistic. Probably especially when your roots are in Europe, as yours are too, with centuries of endless wars, you might be taught to be happy with what you have and not to aim too high in order to avoid disappointment.
With that being said, building a positive attitude among negative rather consists of detecting false realism for me than “fighting” negativity.
Thanks for sharing your insights.
Take care
Oliver
Hi Sylviane,
It can be very challenging to keep a positive attitude with such a prevalence of negativity around us. We have to make a real point to surround ourselves with positivity and put more of that into our minds so that it can offset the negativity around us.
I’ve found that not watching or listening to the news has helped a lot as well as asking negative people in my life to take their negativity elsewhere.
Take care,
Stacy
Hi Sylviane,
Yeah, you’re right. World is growing spiritually. As you did, I never believed in superstition. However it’s not because of my mom or dad were superstitious. Here my parents don’t believe in superstition. It’s matter of tradition. So that may inherit in my siblings and me. I know some of our relatives who went after superstitious religions, seminars and kind of things, and they have end up being sorrow rather than believing reality. I don’t know why people just believe in such things. May be they need a change and fed up their own lives.
I really don’t believe going through personal development coaching and things. The reason is mostly I see those people learn how to make other lives successful, but they aren’t. They know how to learn but when I see them, they are not successful in that way. So I don’t have faith in such people.
My parents believe in religion (That’s what most people here do) and that’s how I learned how to meditate and that kind of stuff. They are really simple and working. Sometimes I’m not much into ’em if I’m more busier. But when I meditate, I can feel the different myself.
Thanks for sharing facts about overcoming negative attitude dear 🙂 I’m adding more to analyze in my brain.
Cheers…
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No matter how hard we try, negativity will still be rampant in our society. I’m sure you’ve noticed that 90% of the news on TV is always bad news. That’s what people wanted to see, I guess.
I agree that in the old days, children are deemed as happy-go-lucky, without a care in the world, and so whatever they have on their minds that they would like to express are not very important to adults at all.
No matter how bad things get, it is up to us if we want to dwell in fear, doubt and sadness or be happy amidst all the negativities in our lives.
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