I normally have a guest on my blog either the first Monday or First Wednesday of the month, but since I’ve arrived in France just a week and half ago and had to do some administration things to be sure to take full advantage of my French citizenship, I haven’t had the time to write much.
So today, I’m having a wonderful friend as a guest that many of your love already, and next Monday I will have another surprise for you.
In the meantime, I’ll be posting about personal development and about my experience in France so far, for those who enjoy this type of post as well, here at my blog.
So, here is my quote for my wonderful guest today:
Take a seasoned entrepreneur who been there and done that, who now teaches people how to blog and earn money with their online business like no one else, and you get Donna Merrill
Sure, you can bend, but don’t break.
Sure, you can get disappointed, but don’t despair.
Sure, you can fail, but don’t let that deter your success.
I never want to hear the word “no.”
If I put up a sales page for a product I’ve created, I KNOW it will improve people’s lives and businesses.
If I didn’t know that, totally and absolutely within my core soul… I’d never release it.
So, if the very first visitor to my sales page leaves without buying, it hurts.
That was a big “no” from my perspective.
Does that mean I should tear down the sales page, dismantle the product and start a new one?
I mean, really, if the very first person leaves without buying, is that going to send tremors through my business model?
Hardly.
But things are never that black and white, are they?
The Good
If 1,000 people visit my sales page, and only that first person walked away, but each of the other 999 actually buy my product… suddenly, the stinger comes out.
ONE person, my very first visitor, didn’t buy my offer.
So what!
I’m obviously doing something right.
The Bad
But what if that one person DID buy my product, and I’m all excited because she’s the first person to land on my new, sparkly, spiffy sales page?
Is it happy dance time?
Wait a minute.
A week goes by and, it turns out, she was the ONLY person out of 1,000 to buy. The other 999 all clicked away without converting into a sales.
That’s definitely not cool.
The Real
But here’s the thing.
I could have been all depressed and ready to change course, or even shut down the doors when that first visitor didn’t convert into a buyer.
I mean, that is rejection, loud and clear.
And it’s a rejection of something I worked long and hard to put together to improve the life of that person who just ditched out on me.
I don’t like that.
It feels bad, and it just shouldn’t be.
My reaction to that rejection, though, is far worse than the rejection itself.
This person didn’t rip my business apart.
She didn’t contact me and tell me to take down that sales page immediately because she’s not interested in the offer.
She simply clicked away.
I don’t know why.
Maybe the baby spilled her cup of milk.
Maybe she just remembered she was late to the dentist.
Maybe she just wasn’t interested in what I was selling (it happens… lol).
She clicked off my sales page without taking action.
That’s all.
She didn’t rip my business apart.
But in response to her rejection, I’m ready to rip it apart myself.
You see, rejection is not dangerous because it destroy us, it’s dangerous because we could make it our excuse for destroying ourselves.
If we do… if we shut down, alter course, give up… it’s not because of the rejection of one person.
It’s because we were eagerly seeking justification to quit, and now we’ve got it.
The Best
If you are really committed to constructing a solid and successful online business, via blogging, affiliate marketing or anything else… you need to welcome rejection.
Rejection is how you learn what people don’t want.
Once you learn that, you’re a step closer to giving them what they do want.
Every time you hear the word “no”… you need to ask “why not?”
That’s how you hone in on what will work best for you.
Rejection gives you something that money can’t buy.
It gives you an honest assessment from a real prospect who is focused purely on your offer and nothing else.
That’s valuable stuff!
It’s not always flattering, but it’s really valuable if you’re serious about your business, and not just looking for a pat on the back.
Naturally, you won’t be likely to have 999 sales from 1,000 visitors.
You won’t have only one, either.
It will be somewhere in between.
You have to make the decision whether or not the numbers dictate that you move forward with a particular strategy, or whether you tweak it or even trash it.
Remember, you’ll always have to bend this way or that.
The key is to bend, but don’t break.
Whatever your assessment of a set of statistics, your mission to move forward is still your mission to move forward.
Rejection simply keeps you better informed as you do.
How do you feel when you hear the word “no” in your business?
How do you bend?
Does it ever make you feel like breaking?
I’d love to hear your comments below.
Hi Sylviane,
I want to take this time out and thank you for the opportunity to be a guest on your blog.
-Donna
Donna Merrill invites you to read..Why You Need To Hire A Coach For Your Online Business
Hi Donna,
You’re very welcome, it was actually very handy to have you here today, and I love your topic.
I will share the post some more later.
You have a great day ahead!
Hey Sylviane,
I know that you’ve had a lot on your plate with your adventures and now that you are back in France I’m sure you’ve had a lot of running around to do it sounds like. So happy to see a good friend stepping up and helping you out.
Wonderful to see you here Donna and I appreciate what you shared here. I know that no one likes rejection but at the same time not everyone is going to like what we share or offer.
I know that for me I do my very best to attract my target audience to my content and of course my product. Does that mean those are the only people who will ever stop by and check out what I have? Heck no so that can be another reason that people click away. It can’t be the death of what we do though. We just have to test things out to see what converts the best and keep moving forward.
I think this is just part of the process but one we’re willing to stick with. As you said, rejection is just part of life so accept it and move on. Don’t let it railroad what we are here to achieve. We have a lot to offer so just know that the people will eventually find your stuff and want what you offer.
Love this topic and thanks for helping Sylviane out. I know she’s got a lot going these days so that was so nice of you.
You ladies have a great week.
~Adrienne
Adrienne invites you to read..Magical Monday: Irresistible Content, Gifyt, Influencer, CTA Skin
Hi Adrienne,
This is what I love best about blogging. When our friends need to be away we can step in and lend a hand. I had two bloggers step in for me in July and it was great! We all need each other in order to keep our blogs going and it is a privilege for me to help Sylviane out while she has her hands full.
Rejection: I’ve come across some of my clients that came to me with this problem. I cannot see anyone leaving after such hard work. Indeed it is all about testing. That is where I spend most of my time these days.
People need to realize you just cannot put up something and expect even a click…it takes a lot of testing to do so. Especially when we market to people we have never met. I’ve been putting up some WSO’s and some failed, some zoomed in a day.
Now all I need to do is figure out how to improve.
-Donna
Donna Merrill invites you to read..Why You Need To Hire A Coach For Your Online Business
Hi Adrienne,
Oh, my gosh, running around all last week I did. And last night, because it’s been so hot, the worst storm they’ve seen in years. A good handful of trees down. Someone joke-fully asked me this morning if I brought that from the US 🙂 Anyways, power’s back and every one is OK the 2 dogs, 5 cats, 2 donkeys and the sheep, even though the donkeys were stuck in their shelter with a tree blocking the exist, so I had to clean up as much as I could to let them out, until someone came to help.
I do have neighbors that came rushing in early in the morning to make sure I was OK, so I’m not alone. To tell you the truth, I’m enjoying it all anyways. All I cared about was to see all my four-legged alive and well.
So, about the wonderful post from Donna now.
You’re right, not everyone is going to like what we do, and at times as Donna mentioned if they don’t it could be a tale-tell sign that we need to readjust here and there. I know I’ve done that myself. at times it just mean that we are not meant to connect, I guess, and that’s fine too.
Thanks for coming and you have wonderful day, Adrienne.
Hi Sylviane and Donna,
I hope you have a great time in France Sylviane and I sure can appreciate that you might have a lot to do and affairs to take care of.
Donna, I love the whole idea and word picture you offered us. Reminds of the Patriots Super Bowl defense, lol… Just had to get that in there since we’re both big fans.
One of the things I’ve learned over the years about rejection is that it is a comprehensive learning experience.
Did I message to the wrong person?
Was there a personality issue that got in the way?
Did they have good intentions but then something happened?
There can so many reasons for the rejection and much of it may have nothing to do with us.
On the other hand, we could be attracting the wrong audience and the continual process of learning, growing and evolving is so necessary in order to figure it out.
Your advice and encouragement is spot on!!!!!
Bend but don’t break – you never know what is happening or why it’s happening but we can choose to learn from it and tweak where necessary. That is a true story of business; isn’t it?
Great post and I hope you have an amazing and awesome week Donna!!!!
~ Don Purdum
Don Purdum invites you to read..How to Network Online and Efficiently Grow Your Business
Hi Don,
Indeed, it is all about tweaking. I receive “rejection” with open arms. It sure teaches me what I might have done wrong. The title, the content, sometimes even a color change does the trick.
Then there is the target audience…much research has to be done there. Once we find the right fit it is all a matter of keep on going. Ha…that Superbowl how unforgettable that game was! But they didn’t quit. And neither should we.
-Donna
Donna Merrill invites you to read..Why You Need To Hire A Coach For Your Online Business
Hi Don,
I like all the potential reasons you are mentioning here. Could be the wrong message to the wrong person, it could be that we’re still attracting the wrong people. I am every familiar with the later 🙂 Been there, done that. In any case, we keep on learning from our mistake, there’s not doubts about that.
Thanks you for your wonderful input as always.
~Sylviane
Bend but don’t break. Love that.
Kerry invites you to read..TToT: At the Heart of the Star, Not the Shape of It – Ten Years and Ten Things
Hi Kerry,
You’re comment went to spam because it’s a bit short. I would love to hear more about what you thought of Donna’s post.
Now later this week I have a special treat post for you 🙂 So watch out!
~Sylviane
Sorry about that Sylviane. I know all about making an effort to leave a thoughtful comment and all that, but I simply liked that phrase. I am glad you still saw my comment though.
I related this post to my writing. There are so many writers out there and I feel rejected when someone doesn’t accept my writing, but that doesn’t mean I should stop trying. Sometimes I need to read it and make some changes and other times I just need to stay persistent and someone else will appreciate what I have to say.
Same with clients.
Cant wait for your post later this week.
Hope both of you here today have a great week.
Kerry invites you to read..TToT: At the Heart of the Star, Not the Shape of It – Ten Years and Ten Things
Well said, Kerry. Keep doing what you love with as much skills as you can and it always ends up paying off.
I’m glad you added to your comment. Thanks 🙂
~Sylviane
Hi Kerry,
Thanks for coming back lol. Bend but don’t break is a little saying that I like to keep in my mindset. It just keeps my stamina going on and I wanted to share it.
Absolutely, if someone doesn’t relate to your writing…pay no mind because others will!
Thanks for visiting,
Donna
Donna Merrill invites you to read..Why You Need To Hire A Coach For Your Online Business
Hi Sylviane and Donna,
“Bend not Break.”
So agree with this. Take the bad or the good, that has been dished out, use it as a map to find a new road to where you really want to go.
Brings to mind something I have been working on…getting likes is easy compared to getting comments and shares.
So when I do get a golden comment or share, re-examine what I offered that earned the prize.
Finding that sometimes isn’t what I have offered, but who I showed it to that makes the biggest difference.
It is great to work through the programs, read all the blogs with their helpful shared content, but in the end, it is getting back up and continue trying.
No action, no results.
C..
Cararta invites you to read..Type 2 Diabetes News and Facts You Should Know
Hi Cararta,
You sound like you’re learning from what you see is working vs. what is not.
That’s a great illustration of bending and not breaking.
Many times, somebody might send out a post, to use your example, that fails to get the results they want (like sufficient shares or a comments). They would then decide they’re wasting their time posting and start doing something entirely different. But you’ve stepped up to a higher level in the process by taking those posts that do get you the shares and comments, and saying “Hey, I should be doing more of this type of post, and less of the other that didn’t work so well”.
That’s the sort of growth process that makes your business vibrant and growing. Otherwise, you’d just keep starting all over with something else until your business gets all twisted in the weeds and chokes itself.
Good job!
-Donna
Donna Merrill invites you to read..Why You Need To Hire A Coach For Your Online Business
Hi Cararta,
I really like what you’re sharing about the likes versus comment and share.
It’s exactly what you’re saying, it’s not what you share, but with whom you share it.
You see with me, if you share cute cats, I will be a good client to comment and share. But if you share anything negative (and do it often) you’d be a good client for me to get rid of your friendship. So, what you’re saying is dead on. I’m sure some people love negative stuff. The reason I know is that they share it all the time on facebook.
As for those who tend to like all the time without ever commenting I think it speaks more of their personality. They are greedy of encouragements. At least that’s the way I feel. No body has time to comment everywhere all the time, but at times it’s nice to encourage people with a quick comment. I know in your case, you’re doing great!
Thanks for coming Cararta 🙂
~Sylviane
Hi Donna, Hi Sylviane,
Well this was timely for me.
I had a conversation about rejection today. The truth is…I’ve never handled it well.
There’s a word for that. It’s 3 letters and rhymes with “weego” 😉
What you said here…
“You see, rejection is not dangerous because it destroy us, it’s dangerous because we could make it our excuse for destroying ourselves.”
That’s an easy thing to do. I know I can’t be the only one who feels that way either.
It can be so tough not to take things personally. I mean, we create something we feel is valuable, so how could someone else not see what we see, right?
I’ll admit that this is something I am still working on. But I do appreciate the synchronicity of this post in regard to timing…and I’ll have to bookmark it and reread it often.
Thanks for the insight.
I wish the both of you a wonderful week.
Dana invites you to read..A Tribute to A Man Who Has Inspired Me – Dr. Wayne Dyer
Hi Dana,
Rejection can be devastating to many people…you are not alone. But when something hits you so hard like this, it is time to examine why. Why did rejection of something you have done so well brought up that emotion?
Because you have acknowledged this, you have taken the first step. Now..you can face this problem head on in many ways from writing down your feelings, exploring your past, and so on. I know Sylviane is a great one to handle this kind of situation because she is a life coach.
When something like rejection, eats you up and bad feelings arise, there is always an answer to that problem. Maybe consciously or it could be something from the past that is in your subconscious mind. The rejection can trigger that feeling and hit you hard.
A teacher or family member or even a bully in your childhood could have had an effect on how you feel. Rejection comes up in your adult life and overtakes you. I can tell you from my own experience, feelings like this can be fixed.
When we are running a business, or creating some product, we cannot let these feelings stop us in our past. So my advice is to embrace rejection as a wise teacher…try to figure out or get some help as to why it is making you feel badly and then it can be wiped out of the subconscious mind and replaced with the positive.
Keep working on it and I know, you will conquer this.
Blessings,
-Donna
Donna Merrill invites you to read..Why You Need To Hire A Coach For Your Online Business
Hi Dana,
So nice to see you around again with your truthful comments and I’m so glad that it was timely for you too.
Like you, in the past especially, I would never take criticism well at all. I did get much better over time, but I used to be very bad not that long ago.
I am too still a work in progress. But at my age, I can say that I’m much stronger with who I am and my reaction to criticism is more calm and distant. Maybe I’m better able to keep my ego to the side 🙂
Thank you for your input, Dana.
Hi Donna and warm welcome to Sylviane’s blog.
I still remember I was the first guest author here when she opened guesting posting.
Rejection sounds a bitter word but it has power to make people be accepted if they take it positively.
If someone doesn’t taste the bitterness of rejection and gets acceptance in his very first attempt it is like he will get so upset if gets a little afterward at the mid-point of his venture.
So we can say that rejection is not the opposite of acceptance and actually it is the initial phase of a wider, permanent and massive acceptance.
Thanks a lot for sharing a very thought-provoking post
Have a great rest of the week.
Mi Muba invites you to read..10 gainful habits of top money bloggers you never read so far
Hi Mi,
Thank you for your wise words here. Rejection can be taken two ways; it can stop you in your tracks or it can be a red flag to what we need to change.
For me, rejection is just part of business and it doesn’t phase me at all. Instead, if something is totally rejected I have to go back and see what I can fix.
-Donna
Donna Merrill invites you to read..Why You Need To Hire A Coach For Your Online Business
That is such solid advice Donna!
And it’s the type that will creep up on us, whether we
fully embrace it or not!
Although in the beginning, most people that have never attempted to run
any type of business before, especially if they’re attempting to blog for
the very first time.
The rejection part of the equation, is something they should definitely learn to readily embrace as you pointed out.
And use it as a gauge to get on the right track, as you advised.Instead of trying to avoid
it or being held emotional captive by it!
Thanks for sharing another extremely practical post Donna! And thank you for
featuring her thoughts Sylviane!
And I hope you’re having an absolute blast while in France!
Mark invites you to read..The Three Critically Important Marketing Secrets The Naked Cowboy Understands That You Probably Don’t!
Hi Mark,
Indeed, rejection IS part of the equation in business. One has to be ready for that. This means we need to work on our “emotional” side of us. There is going to be some who will love you and some who will reject you.
It is all a part of business as usual and we cannot let it break us. We can bend, but never break. Although after many decades of having my own business, sometimes rejection will bend me a bit, because it triggers something deep in my subconscious. But it sets up a red flag.
Having a good sense of humor, sure does help when this happens. “Oh..that’s why I’m feeling bent” So acknowledging that “trigger” I replace it with open arms and see it as a good lesson of what I can improve on.
Thanks so much,
-Donna
Donna Merrill invites you to read..Why You Need To Hire A Coach For Your Online Business
Thanks for another great post, Donna!
Rejection is something we all have to deal with – and not just in the business world!
Some people handle it better than others but your post certainly put things into perspective. If someone doesn’t like our offer they just click away. That’s it – no big deal.
The reality is that many people who visit our sites are not a good fit for what we do. So it’s completely ok for them to click away from our page. Good luck to them!
As others have said, look at these experiences as learning experiences – a chance for us to get better. Notwithstanding that, as long as we have confidence in our game plan we should never allow a single negative experience to put us off course. When we allow occasional negative external events to adversely affect our day to day behavior, our progress will be hampered.
(A Tip For Newbies: don’t agonise over the minutiae when you have so little to work with!)
Thanks for bringing Donna to us, Sylviane. And have a happy time in France (my fav country)
Kim
Kim Willis invites you to read..Persuasion Psychology – Theory and Practice
Hi Kim,
Indeed, I agree with all you have mentioned in your comment. Rejection, negativity and anything else cannot hamper our day..or life for that matter. I know realistically that many have not come to this point in life.
But this is why I just had to raise this issue. I hear too many people say to me in the IM world that they are hurt by rejection. It stops the from moving forward. At worst…they may even quit and chalk it up to tell themselves “I’m too sensitive for this.” Believe me…I’ve heard that many times.
To run ANY business, rejection is part of it and you are sure correct that if they click away, it isn’t a good match for us anyway. When working with others, we want to attract those who will be accountable for their actions, and work at every aspect.
Many thanks for your wonderful comment,
-Donna
Donna Merrill invites you to read..Why You Need To Hire A Coach For Your Online Business
Hey Donna,
I use to be quite sensitive to the word “No”
That’s because of the low self confidence and worst of all I didn’t think of all of the options I had to see how I can improve.
There’s many things you can look into.
It could be that you need to narrow down who your audience is
Maybe your links don’t work
Or maybe the website was down
maybe, maybe, maybe… there’s always options to look into.
Just in the U.S. along, there’s over 330 million people here. All with different interests. The fact of the matter is that if just 1 million U.S. citizens weren’t interested in your product, you still have 229 million may be. This is similar to your examples
It’s all about perception and how you think when it comes down to it. Either you beat yourself up and quit, and just go into a different direction with your marketing.
Thanks Donna for sharing! I hope you’re having a great Labor Day weekend!
Sherman Smith invites you to read..9 Blog Commenting Rules That Brands You Like A Boss
Hi Sherman,
No can be a horrid word and we can be sensitive to it. Great example! But we must identify our reaction to that word, work on it and let it roll off our shoulders – I see you did lol. Low self confidence is something I too was in a long time ago. But we breakthrough (hopefully) because it is such a terrible way to lead our lives. I call it my “dark days” when I look back.
When marketing, rejection will come, but I do believe it is the greatest teacher of all because it makes us tweak what we are doing as you mentioned above. We keep at it and test test test!
As long as we don’t walk away from it, we are OK
-Donna
Donna Merrill invites you to read..Why You Need To Hire A Coach For Your Online Business