I would be lying to you if I didn’t say that I’ve asked that question myself over and over. As a matter of fact, for the longest time, my very situation was proof to me, and unfortunately to others, that I wasn’t attracting the right clients to my business.
Lately, however, after having spent a lot of soul searching time, while working very hard with personal development tools on a daily basis, some clear answers started coming to me, and I began to observe a shift in my business.
Now, because of needed discretion I can’t reveal everything here on a post that anyone can find and read, but I wanted to let you know that some wonderful things are starting to happen and I anticipate some great positive changes in my life before the year is over.
As I was being my own guinea pig in analyzing why the heck I wasn’t attracting enough of the perfect clients for me, I realized that it wasn’t due to one factor only, but several factors which when combined may bring about a stuck situation type.
Something that you need to always keep in mind is that when something goes to either the right or the wrong direction it’s rarely due to a single factor, but several. It’s often the combination of more than one reasons that bring results.
Let’s see how that works…
Negative Results are not Necessarily due to something Big
Back in 2003 a small plane with 21 people, including the crew, crashed in the small Charlotte, NC airport. The crash was due to what may seem to be two very small details. A) The tension of the cables that control the elevators of the plane were not set properly, and B) the pilot and first officer had wrongly calculated the total weight of the plane, due to an underestimation of the passengers and luggage average weight. They were off by a mere 580 pounds.
If the plane had encountered only one of these problems at the time, no crash would have occurred, but it was the combination of the two together that provoked the crash.
In this case a simple cable tension and 580 pounds killed 21 people that day. The reasons of this catastrophe seemed very small, but they were actually a big deal.
Those Rules Apply to Everything!
It’s this accumulation of small details that if left unchecked will get you stuck forever in a life of near misses, and never achievement. In order to move forward you MUST take a look at yourself and see what “cables need to be tuned up,” and what “extra pounds,” need to be taken off in your life.
Here are three areas that I want you to look deep into, in order to see if the reason why your business is stagnating and why you’re not attracting the right clients to you.
The Not Deserving Issue
A very wide spread issue that many of us have is that of not deserving. As you read this you may be negating this saying, no I don’t have any issue with deserving, but I’m here to tell you that if you have talents, if you’re bringing value, if you have potential for grows in your business, if you are well establish enough, either online or offline and you still are not where you need to be with your business and finances, it’s is because you have some type of not deserving issues.
No matter how much you may be trying to deny this, doesn’t make it any less true.
For most of us, our deserving issues are deep down into subconscious land, and again it’s not even due to only one single factor, but most probably several. So, it’s well embedded and most likely to stay, unless you…
1) Become conscious of that fact
2) Do something about it
Not Making the Decision
One thing which I realized has been keeping financial success at bay for me for the longest time is a simple factor. One that may seem so insignificant that we simply disregard it, until we feel like we’re about to cash and burn. That one little “insignificant” thing is the not making the decision.
When you mentally make the decision to achieve something, it gives it wings, so to speak. When you finally make the decision, it provokes a psychological and physical rush that will make things happen. The universe rewards decision makers.
When you finally make the decision to BE whatever you want to be, it simply opens the doors. Not because of some magical tricks, but because a simple decision making induces mental and psychological effects that are bound to create a reaction.
Now, don’t forget that it works for negative stuff just as well too. That’s why so many of us are somewhat unsuccessful. It’s that same little details that’s responsible for our lack of success. We are making the decision not to be successful. Not always a conscious decision, granted, but a decision nonetheless.
If you don’t make the conscious decision to attract the right clients once and for all, it may never happen.
Not Trusting your Value
Another things I’ve been guilty of practicing too, is underselling myself because of not trusting in my value enough.
You undersell yourself by not trusting enough in your craft, and thus giving your services away by charging too low or accepting clients that can’t pay well for your services.
The danger of underselling yourself is that it puts that law of attraction machine in motion, and you start attracting broke clients who can’t pay you. Then, in turn, you become broke too, because all you have is clients that can’t afford much while they still suck your time an energy just the same as those who would pay you high dollar.
Of course, this is somewhat related to deserving issues and lack of decision making. As a matter of fact, these three “want to be insignificant” factors are all related in a way. In some cases, fixing one will automatically fix the other two.
Now, let’s see how we can do that.
How to Find out if you have Deserving Issues/Beliefs
Since this is a well hidden issue for most us, you are going to need to bring it out in order to catch it, and get rid of it.
Two tools that you can use to do this are EFT and/or a pendulum (catch the videos here). I’ve talked about the benefits of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and pendulums in previous posts that you may want to go read before you start doing this.
The other option is to consult a coach. If you want me to help you figure out your deserving issues and beliefs and get rid of them, just contact me.
Here are some EFT Tips to Get Rid of Deserving Issues
When using EFT emphasis your negativity and tap it away with statements like these:
- I am not deserving, I was taught that I’m not deserving
- Everything in my life has shown me that I’m not deserving
- Haven’t I’ve been bad at times to deserve such thing as high paying clients?
- What about if I wasn’t deserving?
- Isn’t the fact that I am where I am now proof enough that I’m not deserving?
Tap all the negative statements that comes to your mind about NOT deserving for about 2-3 minutes and then stop and listen to your body.
When I did that, what I felt is some tension in my chest area. If something like that happens to you it means that such statements actually ring true to you. And there you have your answer already.
So, what do you do then?
You do another round of negative statements and then you keep on going with positive ones that should sound like this…
- What about if I was deserving after all?
- Who says I’m not deserving?
- I may well be deserving all I want after all!
- In fact, I know I’m deserving great clients that pay me very well
- In fact, I know that I am attracting the perfect clients for me …. Etc.
How do you Make the Decision?
When it comes to make the decision to be more successful aka attracting more or better clients, you need to make the decision that you will. You need to make the decision to BE successful.
Now I know what you’re thinking right now. You’re saying, but I’ve done that already! I want to be successful. I want to attract more and better clients all the time.
Well, think about it; does anyone in their right mind not want to be successful? Of course they do. But how many of those people really have made the DECISION to be so?
It’s one thing to think to say“I want to have more clients, I want my business to be successful” in the background of your mind, but it’s another to actually make the decision that you will.
Have you truly made the decision or is it just like white noise in the background? Believe me there’s a huge difference between the two. The difference is making it or failing it.
So, do yourself a favor and make the decision to be successful in your business today! Say it, write it and tap it, it will help you greatly, but most of all, make the conscious decision, I will be successful in my business no matter what it takes, and attract only the perfect clients for me.
How to Learn to Trust your Value
If you don’t trust your value, you’ll be falling short of what you’ve been expecting to achieve in your business/financial life. This could be a quote and I should tweet it.
While we are bombarded by useless tools and items every day in our physical mail box, our inbox and other social media accounts, some of us who actually have some great value to share with people that could generate us a more than a comfortable income, are underestimating such value and we sell ourselves short.
Don’t underestimate the value of your service or product, if you know that some people are actually looking for what you have and paying your competitors for it, why aren’t they paying you?
To learn how to trust your value, you may have have to dig deep a little further, and I’m sure that a coach would be of great help for that one.
If you can’t afford a coach for now, work on the two items above, and it will help you trust your value more.
Conclusion
I can’t put it all in a single blog post, but there’s lot of info here that you can start applying NOW. Save this post and read it again and again, and do the exercises.
In the meantime, please, let me know what you think?
Hi Sylviane,
Interesting post indeed 🙂
Unless one reads all that you’ve written, it doesn’t really strike us to all be true….and coming to think of it, these are perhaps the very reasons that keeps success away from us. We ourselves somewhere play a hand in it all.
Yes, when you are positive and think positive, the Universe works to make the positive happen for you, and there is a very popular saying based on that too – so perhaps that’s the right time good things start happening and come your way – when you open the doors for them. I SO believe in this myself.
Thanks for sharing. Have a nice rest of the week 🙂
Harleena Singh invites you to read..What Is Your Most Prized Possession in Life
Hi Harleena,
Yes, the Universe responds to what we send out, so when we send good vibrations out it comes back to us. But of course this post went a bit beyond that.
Thank you for coming Harleena. Thanks to see you back.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..How To Attract The Right Clients For Your Business
Hi Sylviane,
Have I ever been there. My biggest breakthroughs occurred when I chose to charge my worth, independent of when people told me the price was too high,or that I couldn’t afford my services. Then, the Universe met my desires as I let go bad matches to make room for good, paying, wealthy matches.
I recall one of my first clients. She destroyed my articles, telling me she’d have been better off going with her Fiverr writer, who published much better content for $5. I was hurt for a few days, then promoted freely again, accepted her feedback as the luggage she’d been carrying, and soon after I started working with a well known digital marketer.
He’s been an amazingly helpful client and my earning through our partnership alone have made me realize, that when you feel deserving, and let go folks who are struggling, you’ll get the best matches, who’ll have deep pockets to pay whatever you feel you deserve, and of course, charge.
So much comes down to the practical tips you’ve shared. Stating questions or statements, and using tools like EFT to ID your worthiness issues, helps root up these energies, which then helps you to stand your ground, and charge your worth, despite any feedback from struggling folks who don’t know their worth or have little money.
Or course, this requires you to make freeing but uncomfortable decisions at times, but again, of course, it’s well worth it.
Thanks Sylviane, awesome read on an energetic level. I’ll tweet it through Triberr.
Ryan
Ryan Biddulph invites you to read..7 Reasons Why Coaxing a 4 Inch Cockroach from my Bathroom in Fiji Made Me a Better Blogger
Hi Ryan,
Thank you so much for sharing your experience here and giving actual proof of what is discussed in the post.
There is so much to be said about the worth we put into ourselves. At the end of the day we are paid what we value ourselves at, and that goes even for those who work a jobs.
A lot of this programming has to do with how we grew up thinking about money, of course, and unless we change it, it sits there in our subconscious belief, there to stay forever.
Thank you so much for your input.
I had to take my time and read this post which i find quite interesting. I love the part where you discuss about not deserving and not trusting your value. In all this post is great and I have learnt a lot. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Hi ikechi and welcome to my blog.
I’m very glad you enjoyed this and took your time to read it.
Thanks for coming and hope to see you around soon.
Hi Sylviane,
Once again a powerful post and yes, I love it even more because you talk about the law of attraction I am big on setting great expectations because when we have great expectations that’s when we get great results.
Think positive, expect positive and attract positive – is the mantra and as you already have shared, it works!
Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful weekend!
Regards,
Kumar
Kumar Gauraw invites you to read..How To Get Up Early And Get An Enormous Edge Over Rest Of The World
Hi Kumar,
Thank you for coming by. I’m so glad you live your life this way, as it’s the way to go.
Thank you for coming, as always.
Hi Ms.Sylviane
Excellent post.
When an individual has wrong beliefs regarding their worth, it does spill over to their business.
My fees as a Certified Life Coach is never based on another person, what their fees are .
It is based on my experience, my education and my worth.
Sometimes it’s difficult for people to charge a certain fee (high) because they value their work on something else instead of their own worth.
Thank you again,for a great article.
Gladys
Gladys invites you to read..The Strength of Core Beliefs
Hi Gladys,
Well said, your fees should be based on your and your expertise, not on anything else.
Thank you for pointing this out!
Hi Sylviane,
Excellent post! 🙂
I have had issues before with Fiverr, Elance, PeoplePerHour…when I saw these services, it just crush my ego! For something I have learned in school and on the job for too long and suddenly I’ve seen designs for $5, $99 (like 99designs) I thought men, how could our industry gone too far! These places are ruining our reputations!
But then my friend Rob told me, it’s communication with your client that is more important. I’ve seen designs from these crowdsourcing places that are ruined just because they didn’t have any proper communication with a client. Waste of money and time! How do I value my design from cheap places like these?
Communication. That is the key. I started seeing my place and value again. That I am not competing with how low their prices are but the quality of my deliverance. The premium service vs. Instant. Deliver something more than what your client expected, is what I’ve learned from Cliff Ravenscraft. But hey, don’t get me wrong about the outsource, I love places like that to help me something I can’t do, like coding for instance, or editing my book, or accounting…but to put my design in auction is just not my cup of tea.
I know that there are people out there who would pay the right amount of dollars for my service. They are around. Like I said, it’s not so much what you know but “who” you know. That’s when face-to-face clients becomes more attracted to me because this where I see real actions! Of course, not for everyone, but for me it works!
Angela
Angela McCall invites you to read..Video Blogging Challenge 17 | How to Get Clients
Hi Angela,
Frankly, I’ve never understood why some talented people would sale their product for $5 to $15 as they do on Fiverr. I am sure that it has to do with the fact that they have to work on their beliefs and values. I’m glad you don’t have this problem and understand that you don’t have to sell yourself short in order to get clients.
Thanks for your input and have a fantastic day.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..How To Attract The Right Clients For Your Business
Hi Sylviane,
Wow this is very comprehensive post. I think undeserving is a huge one and one that is often concealed even to ourselves.
I also think deciding is big and again one that can be very subtle. For me when I came online I kept changing my mind and jumping around with what I was doing. That is never going to work.
And our value. I know for me I had no problem as an accountant and financial planner but when I came online I went through this weird time of feeling like I knew nothing about anything and like all my skills had disappeared. Thankfully I got through that.
I have worked with people who do EFT and other ways of clearing beliefs but I really am going to take your advice in previous posts and start working with some of these things myself.
Thanks for such a value packed post Sylviane.
Sue
Sue Price invites you to read..Retiring : Is It An Option?
Hi Sue,
I’m glad that this post resonated with you.
I know what you mean. At times we can be very confident at one thing and not so much at another, so I guess in your case you were way more confident as an accountant and financial planner than as an internet marketer. Those feelings are tied up with our beliefs.
Thank you for sharing your story here.
Hi Sylviane,
Such an amazing post.
There are some particular reasons for the failure of many people.
The points you have mentioned are right and should concentrate on.
Many people think that their idea is not good and others is better. It’s because they don’t believe in their own. Their moral values are not that much effective.
But the fact is if we have talent then we can reach to our goal with consistency.
Thanks for this post.
Have a wonderful weekend.:)
~Ravi
Ravi Chahar invites you to read..10 Things To Do Before Changing Your WordPress Theme
Hi Ravi,
I’m thrilled that you liked this post and appreciate this type of education.
Yes, it’s very important to trust in our own self.
Thank you for coming and see you around soon 🙂
Hey Sylviane,
I’m so sorry, I had thought I’d been by your post and read it but I realized that I hadn’t. What a great topic to and one that I know a lot of people can probably relate to.
I’m surprised that you yourself wasn’t attracting the right clients to you. As you know from the post I wrote a few weeks ago that it took a shift of my thinking as well. I was wanting to help everyone and even those who didn’t want to help themselves. That’s never a good thing and what a waste of our time and energy.
I do agree with you that if everything you say you want isn’t happening then there is something deeper happening that’s holding you back. I know that I’m dragging my feet with my product but it’s not that I’m afraid to be successful, I just scared that I will disappoint people because I’ve built up such a name for myself that I never think it will be good enough. It’s a fear that I have but I’m working through that right now because I know this is something I have to do in order to get to that next level and I definitely want to reach that.
The tapping works great and you know I’ve been doing it on the money issue. It just really helps release so much negative energy surrounding that so you are right, it works great.
Thank you for sharing this topic with us and what a great read. I’ll be sure to share this as well.
Have a great week.
~Adrienne
Adrienne invites you to read..How To Attract The Right People To You
Hi Adrienne,
So sorry to reply so late here. Yes, I had noticed your absence, but I thought you were super busy 🙂
At least you’ve caught what your fear is and why it’s holding your back. You can absolutely tap that too you know? If you need help with the phrasing let me know. I’m becoming very good at tapping 🙂
I’ve not attracted the right people for so many years, Adrienne, clients or others, but all that is changing, thankfully.
Thank you for your input and watch my super video post tomorrow! I’m in vacation this week, but still blogging 🙂
Hi Sylviane,
What a great message you have here in this post! I remember when I had to come to terms with my self about deserving. Oh boy did that take a lot of work! After working with a coach and finding out I had this issue, I put sticky notes everywhere and wrote “I Deserve” on them. I did this for a month. All throughout the day I would think of one happy moment in my life and neuro link it to that affirmation. I became a changed woman.
Value is another important lesson. We NEED to value our time we give to others. Yes, we can give freely, but when it comes to business, we need to take a good hard look at all the trainings we went through, all the time spent on learning, and then put a price on our time.
Now, this is not only good for us, but for our clients. If you give your time to someone for free, they won’t value it as much as if you charge them. It can be any amount you choose, but the point is, if you pay for something you value it.
Great share!
-Donna
donna merrill invites you to read..Why Is Google Like My Ex?
Hi Donna,
As I was reading your post yesterday and you described your ex-husband it sounded just like mine, so I know that you had to have gone through a time where you felt you didn’t deserve, just like me. Women who feel that way attract that type of men.
You’re right, when people pay for services they value it more. We should value ourselves enough to get paid well.
Thanks for coming. So appreciated as always.
You have raised some critically interesting point Slyviane!
I like to think of some of the points you shared as soul searching 101! I loved the story you shared about how two incredibly minor details were literally responsible for a horrific tragedy.
For sure we’re all subject to occasionally selling ourselves short. The real long term potential damage of any short selling of yourself, is that we can start systematically sabotaging our real chances for any long term success!
And your post is giving us the right guidelines to stay on course and avoid the mental pitfalls! Thanks for sharing some powerful insights!
Mark invites you to read..So Why Do Some Call It Economic Recession While Others Call It Opportunity!
Hi Mark,
I’m so glad you came here and read this post. Yes, my posts on this blog are soul searching stuff 🙂
I’m happy you enjoyed it and thanks for your input. Always appreciated.
Oh my good God! I had to read this post very keenly as I wanted to learn all that I needed to know on attracting high paying customers and how you didn’t let me down! Thanks ma’am. 🙂
So speaking of, these three stated ways actually are what I basically suffer from.
From this side of the world(Nigeria) and from what I grew up to know, I thought I don’t deserve the things I have or I get.
Also, I barely take concious decisions as most of the decisions I take were made by either my mum(when she was alive) or by some uncles and aunts(who doesn’t even have my time).
And I used to think I can allow myself to charge people too much as they are just helping my business.
That’s why, one of the coolest post I ever have written was giving out for just $12. That’s so sad but now I know!
Thanks for mentioning those quick fixes.
I bet with this settled out for me, I’ll now lunch into freelance and ghost writing and Fiverr here I come!
Thanks again ma’am, it’s so much appreciated; this post! 🙂
Sam
Sam Adeyinka invites you to read..5 Ways To Write Like Seth Godin
Hi Sam,
Well, it seems that you have to go deeper into personal development, so your confidence can increase. And you need to erase the negative programming that you may have gotten as you grew up.
Of course this may take some help, but it’s really up to you to decide to make the changes you want to make in your life.
Thank you for your story sharing here.
Hi Sylviane,
I love this post.
I know you can not mention all the things in single post. But according to me now you have no need to write another post on this topic. Because we understand from this post that what you want to explain. Really thanks to write such a great post.
~Dr. Diana Hardy
Dr. Diana invites you to read..Creative Spring Cleaning
Hi Dr. Diana,
I’m glad you liked the post and thank you so much for coming by.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..How To Align Yourself With The Universe Video
Again Sylviane, Nice post. I’m really amazed how you dedicated to this. Thanks
I was going through your post and just love this section “Not Trusting your Value”. You have just pointed out the right issue. I used to have a big problem- I couldn’t say “No” to anyone and I had to suffer a lot for this. One day one of my friend literally teached me how to say “No” to the people….and i started following that and yes, I have been seeing the improvement.
Adi invites you to read..Mom Arrested For Letting The Child Walk Alone To The Park … Talk About Teaching A Lesson!
I have never heard of tapping on negative things first. That is new to me. I was interested in how you said to stop after tapping on the negative statements to see how you feel and to see if they actually ring true for you. Thanks for the challenge. Amy
Amy Hagerup invites you to read..This is Often the First Symptom of a Heart Attack
Hi Amy,
Hum, interesting, all the tapping experts I know do tap negative emotions first, I’ve actually never seen tapping experts tapping only positive statements, but it’s not wrong at all either. Once I feel that I’ve tapped enough on the negative about a specific matter I do tap only on the positive.
Thank you for your input and for commenting here.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..What Does It Take To Make Life Happen Rather Than Let It Happen