You know what they say, right?
Life is a journey, not a destination,
When you’re younger you may hear those words, but they don’t really mean anything to you.
I mean really…
If you’re 20 years old and you hear this statement, what does that mean to you?
As you grow older, however, you start seeing the picture.
You start seeing that life has different stages.
But what does this all mean?
So, let’s talk about that today.
By the way, if you want to find out if coaching is for you, remember that I offer 30 minute free consultations.
Stage One – Childhood
You’re first stage in life is when you’re a child and where everything you’re allowed to see, think and eat is basically given to you by the adults around you.
At that stage there is very little room for expansion of your true self, in a way.
In my case, I can’t even complain, for someone my age growing up between the 70’s and early 80’s I had a pretty cool mother, who rarely said no to me, except for a few things of course.
But for the most part, I was fortunate with the mother God gave me, and I thanked him on a regular basis.
Yes, even as a child.
Because I always felt that she was just the right parent for me.
Actually, it may be because of the way I was raise that I develop the free spirit adult that I am today, and that allowed me to get acquainted with things such as the law of attraction, the subconscious mind and all this food stuff, that some people may call “new age”, but which is really knowledge that helps you grow in life.
As you probably know by now, if you’ve been following my blog, the way you were raised has probably affected your subconscious mind quite a bit. That’s inevitable, no matter who you are.
Unless you were raised by the perfect parent, you are going to have some positive beliefs, habits, and other directions in our life, and some not so much so.
That’s why we all need to grow in one way or another. And that’s why most people can really benefit from coaching.
Stage Two – Adolescence
Then, comes those few adolescence years.
Those are the shortest ones (or the less numerous ones) but they are very important as well.
When you’re an adolescent you’re not a child anymore, but you are still very fragile, because you’re not an adult yet either.
Actually until age 16 your subconscious programming is still very active, so to speak, and some of the things that you are going to learn or things that are going to happen to you, good or bad, until around that age, will pretty much stick around for the rest of your life as well.
Adolescence is a fragile time, and a key moment in our life, but unfortunately not one where we are strong and mature enough for the most part.
This is a time in our life when our reasoning is not the best, by any mean, and this is a time we often look back on later in life and say, what was I thinking?
Well, it’s because, as an adolescent we don’t do much thinking. We tend to do thing and think later.
This is a time where we need good parental guidance, more than ever before and after, in our whole life.
If you are a parent, you really need to be conscious of that.
Stage Three – Young Adulthood
Young adulthood is where you are going to get your higher education, start your career, get into what you love, hopefully, and go from there.
But this is what I would call best case scenario.
It’s not the case for all of us, far from it.
It certainly wasn’t mine.
As a matter of fact, this is the time where you’re going to see many trials and errors, and where errors might outnumber the trials.
We can only wish we had the brain of a 40 year old when we’re 20, but that just doesn’t happen that way.
When you’re 20, you’re 20, and you are going to make the mistakes that 20 year old people make.
However, many of those mistakes are part of the journey. They are inevitable and even necessary for your learning and maturing.
This journey can easily last 10-15 years.
However, this is an excellent time to consult a coach if you feel that you need guidance in any way.
Stage Four – More Mature Adulthood
Then, one day, you’re turning 40, and if you are like many people who have turned 40 before, you are going to feel a shift.
In not so many words, you are not going to take the crap you’ve been taking thus far with the same ease.
You are going to feel something like, OK, that’s enough with that.
It’s called midlife crisis.
Yes, it’s real.
Have you had a midlife crisis?
I know I did.
My life did take a drastic turn right around 40.
This midlife crisis is not imaginary, and it has a reason for existing.
It’s because by the beginning of the second part of your life, the spiritual YOU is becoming bigger, than the physical you.
That is why most people feel a shift at that time.
They start realizing, and feeling things differently…
- Maybe you’re not accepting some things that you were accepting before.
- Maybe you’re deciding to take your life in a new direction.
- Maybe you’re feeling like you are going to explode if you stay in that relationship or job.
- Maybe you’re starting to feel like, you’re too old for this now, but in a good way.
By the way, that midlife crisis doesn’t necessarily happen exactly at 40. It can happen anywhere between 40 and 50 years old I would say. It depends on the person’s evolution and growth.
When you feel that shift, it’s actually a good sign.
It’s the sign that you are growing right on the clock.
It’s part of the journey.
This is probably the BEST time to consult with a coach, if you feel that you are ready for something new, something better or something different at this point.
Where are you in your Life Right Now?
One thing that I always say is that I wish that I knew at least half of the things I know now, when I was in my twenties.
I feel that it would have saved me lots of headaches, and heartaches.
But I also know that whatever happened to me when I was in my twenties and thirties made me who I am today.
But I could certainly have used some wise guidance, that you don’t really get from your parents, because they are not experts in success, even though they tried their best.
No matter how old you are, and where you are in your life, right now, you might beneficiate from someone who could guide you.
When I was in my early 20 I remember reading my first personal development book, because even though it took another 15+ years until I started to really get involved with personal development matters, I was already showing signs of a thrust for truth, so to speak.
But back then there was no access to internet yet, and life coaches where not as easy to find as they are today.
But truth be told, if I had had access to the type of information that we have access to today, I would have loved to consult with someone that could help me and maybe answer some of the questions that I already had back then.
So, what about you?
Where are you in your journey right now? Are you satisfied with it?
If you are, that’s great, but if you are not, then there is plenty of help and resources you can access to today.
For one thing, you can start by filling up the form below, and get my 7 day coaching eCourse.
You can also leave your questions and comments below.
Hello Sylviane,
I am actually both; happy and unhappy at the same time.
Why I am unhappy?
I started to understand the life I wanted to live very late, most reasoning factors were leaving the city in my childhood to live in the countryside, my unfinished education and getting into the work life I wanted to live for the rest of my life after exploring other works and ultimately after wasting many years.
Why I am happy?
That I found out my dream field to consume all of my powers to stay into it forever. For this, I am most thankful of GOD who let me to not finish my studies or else I might be in another field, who knows?
Still I am in my under 30s and I am hopeful I will be doing so good in the field I really really love to!
Thanks for such a nice topic where I could share what I feel of myself!
~ Adeel Sami
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Hi Adeel,
Well, lucky you, you are still pretty young and have all the time to turn around still.
For some reasons, and for many people our first 30 years are not necessarily the best. There’s a learning curve.
I am sure that you’ll be doing great. Just keep learning and develop yourself as much as you can. There’s so much information out there nowadays.
Thanks for dropping by.
You have brought up a really fantastic point. It’s very useful and helpful. Thank you for sharing your article. Great!
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Hi Dylann,
Glad you liked it and thanks for dropping by.
HAHAHAHAHA!! Oh, my tummy hurts I’m laughing so hard…
I think you missed one of those editing moments in your article, Wonderful. Gosh you made my day…
Wait, have to go pee. Be right back.
*giggle*
Okay—you said above, “That is why most people feel a shit at that time.”
…Now I think I know you well enough to assume you meant “SHIFT”….but I like this line better, because you SO got my attention! LOL.
This was a fantastic article Sylviane…and I’m waiting to have my midlife crisis. I think I got a taste at 40—but I’m trying to see what happens at 50. I’m 46 this year…still nothing. Just want to achieve some goals…but you know what–you got those stages of life right on the MARK!
As the saying goes, “Young men want justice…old men want peace.”
…I think I’m past both of those…cause I just want a piece of pie…and I feel justified in having it.”
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Hi Jaime,
Oh, crap. I swear I read a lot of blog posts and I see at least one typo in basically each one of them. Saw one on yours yesterday LOL! Truth. Towards the top of your article if I remember well.
But, then leave it me not to see my own. And thanks to the English language for making such a big difference of a word in this case for just one small ‘f’.
Seriously????
Anyway, I’ve just corrected it 🙂 And thanks for letting me know.
Maybe you’re completely happy with your life, so that’s why you haven’t had much of that mid-life crisis thing. As for me, I was far from happy when I turned 40, so that made a whole lot of a difference, I guess. So much better now, though 🙂
In any case, getting older is not all that bad, I would not want to be 20 again. Oh NO! I like myself so much better now. Smarter, wiser, not needy anymore, and I guess pretty darn strong, and self sufficient. But I was none of that in my earlier days 🙂
Nice to see you here. Thank for coming.
Oh goodness, I’m a pro at non-editing. I try with all my might–but after so many years, I’ve learned to do my best, then throw it out there.
If the content is great and your voice is great, there are many readers who will shrug and move on.
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Hey again Jaime,
Yes, and of course you do an excellent job WITHOUT editing. Gosh, I envy you 🙂
I’m glad I made you all laugh, and appreciate you’re taking some of your precious time to come this way.
I was about to leave my comment and then I read Jamie’s comment and I was laughing so hard too, I decided to leave mine as a follow up to his.
Isn’t language just so very funny!!
English especially. One small slip and Voila! An entire different work and meaning..though possibly even better!!
I hear you Jaime!
A piece of the pie on one’s own terms!
Great article Sylviane. I think many people don’t have a grasp of the fact that we continue going through stages long after we exit childhood. The journey unfolds before us and we get to decide our path utilizing the experiences and growth that has come before.
Warmly,
Deborah
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Hi Deborah,
Well, I’m so glad that I made you laugh at least.
I know I kind of rushed this one, so I guess this typo slipped 🙂 and just not any slip, but an hilarious one.
In any case, Jaime, being the cartoonist that he his, writes comments like NO ONE I’ve known before, and I was just telling him yesterday, how much I love that. And this comment his even more hilarious than the typo.
Yes, I think that many people are not aware of their growth all throughout the years of their life. I feel that myself now, strongly more than ever, that’s why I was inclined to write this.
Thanks so much for coming.
Hi Deborah,
Well, I’m so glad that I made you laugh at least.
I know I kind of rushed this one, so I guess this typo slipped 🙂 and just not any slip, but an hilarious one.
In any case, Jaime, being the cartoonist that he his, writes comments like NO ONE I’ve known before, and I was just telling him yesterday, how much I love that. And this comment his even more hilarious than the typo.
…………………
…………………
….hehe…couldn’t resist. Just had to show you that I COULD write like someone else!
MuAHAHAHAHA!
(runs for cover)
Jaime Buckley invites you to read..Terry Pratchett Was My BIGGEST Inspiration
Marie Calendar’s “RAZZLEBERRY” Pie, to be specific, with 1/2 gallon of Vanilla Bean Ice Cream.
Jaime Buckley invites you to read..Terry Pratchett Was My BIGGEST Inspiration
Hi Sylviane,
Interesting topic of discussion 🙂
Well, I wonder if any person would really be happy and content in the real sense, as there is always something amiss in our lives, if we think of it. While on the other hand, all it takes is a positive mindset to see good all around you, and if you are able to do that, you would be content and satisfied with things, isn’t it?
I liked the way you wrote about the various stages of life, as one’s gone through them all. Childhood is bliss I would say, but ask a child if he or she feels the same! In the same way, I have my daughters now in their teen years, and one is ending her teens too, so both those stages as you mentioned, makes them floating in the ‘in-between’ stage, while both of us in the last stage and still maturing and evolving into better humans daily I guess.
I think the more you mature and grow, the more satisfied with life you get, or perhaps you begin to accept a lot of things, which you didn’t earlier. Your horizons widen and your outlook towards life changes – just my two cents.
Thanks for sharing. Have a nice, rest of the week 🙂
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Hi Harleena,
Very well said.
I think that having kids nowadays is easier for parents (especially those who have been through personal development) to guide them, and teach them the importance of positive thinking – positive mindset.
That’s something I didn’t learn from my mother, because she knew nothing about this stuff. But today there is access to such a wealth of knowledge. I want to say that we don’t have any excuse any more.
Your kids are fortunate to have been born when they were born, and I hope they can make the best of it.
Thanks for coming, Harleena.
Hi Sylviane,
I would also like to share a part of my life here. Like you, I also wished I have known all these things I now know when I was still in my early years. If only I was able to learn all these things earlier, I should have had more than what I have now. I should have been able to help more people. But I guess that’s the reality of life. I am just so glad that I am now slowly molding myself to become what I want to be in the future. Anyway, thanks for sharing such an interesting article.
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Hi Sylviane,
Talking about life is not endless to discuss and to share. Life is a journey, you’re right. There are many journeys that I had passed through with happiness and sadness, but I have to accept it gracefully about anything that ever happened to me before. I enjoyed it with a happy smile, because something like this makes me always to think positive in life. By always thinking positive, our life becomes a journey that is so beautiful and seemed so easy to go through even though there is a problem that is always over to us.
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Hi Ahmad and welcome to my blog.
That’s really great that you’ve approached life with a smile. It’s very important to always keep smiling, even in the saddest moments of our lives. We always need to keep that hope up, and life always does get better.
Thank you for your feedback, and input.
Hi Sherman,
According to my experience, a call to action works when the whole post is written around it. It’s like the climax of a suspense thriller.
The story is created to get there only. A call to action in my opinion is a key for getting repeated users as well. When you give the user one precise point to think about, one particular idea, he tends to hold on to it.
And when a user hold on to an idea provided by he remembers you. And to create a great call to action simplicity and urgency are the indeed necessary. Thanks a ton for the great read.
Have a good day!
Hi Sylviane,
It sounds like you and I have had similar experiences with our mothers. Mine is a lot like how you described yours. I think that makes a big difference.
I am still very much a work in progress. That’s why I call myself a wanderer sometimes because I am still wandering along on the road of my journey.
I just turned 31 but it’s like I’m more like 21 instead. I have been through a lot and am wiser for it, but then there’s just so much I haven’t accomplished and it makes me feel like I haven’t quite grown up yet, even if everyone around me, all my peers keep moving forward with their lives and careers and I worry I fall farther and farther behind.
I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to catch up, maybe my entire life.
One step forward and two steps back it seems.
Have a great weekend.
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Hi Kerry,
Well, here is what the coach in me caught in your comment… you’re saying “so much I haven’t accomplish…” “makes me feel like I haven’t…” and “worry.”
All these are negative statements that are probably bringing on lots of negative feelings, and thoughts.
Unless you do your very best to change those thoughts, feelings and statements, as per the law of attraction, you’ll get more of those. So, it’s very important to watch what you think, watch how what you think makes you feel and watch what you say.
If you do, you’ll start seeing a great improvement in your life and with people around you.
Thanks for coming, Kerry and I hope this helps.
I still don’t know how to use the feature to show my latest post. I must be doing something wrong.
🙁
Kerry invites you to read..Four Themes for Photographers and Photobloggers
Hi Kerry,
What do you mean, exactly, on your blog? It may be because you don’t have that plugin on your blog.
Hi Sylviane,
I love the title. It’s intriguing and thought provoking.
In growing up into adulthood and becoming more aware of myself, I have realized the huge impact my upbringing has had on my subconscious.
Coaching is great when you’re embarking on a major change in life, whenever that happens. Sometimes people need that accountability, discovery and support to push through.
Great post, very enlightening!! Everyone should ask themselves this.
~Lea
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Hi Lea,
Forgive me for the late reply. Just a bit crazy around here these days.
I’m glad you are getting that awareness of yourself that’s great, and I’m glad you like my headline and decided to come visit.
Thank you so much for your input.
Hey Sylviane,
I guess am just too young to worry about mid-life crisis, however not that young to make mistakes that I made in the past decade. Looking back, I think there has been plenty of business decisions that I could have taken better if I had put-in a bit more thinking into it.
Am still happy with where I am and I guess I just need to carry on.
This is a very deep article, got me into thinking and wondering about a lot of things.
regards,
Uttoran Sen,
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Hi Uttoran,
So glad you landed on my blog and enjoyed your reading.
Well, being young you are fortunate to have so much personal development related information at your finger tips to learn from. This is one of the great advantages of being 20 or 25 today. So take advantage of it, my friend, and you’ll go far.
Thanks so much for your valuable comment.
Hey Sylviane,
I love this post and you going through the different stages of our lives.
As you know, I’m considered a senior citizen by some organizations although I certainly don’t feel it and I sure hope I don’t look it. Not yet anyway because my time is coming.
I was very sheltered as a child and as I started learning more and more I was rather embarrassed that I was so sheltered. I was pretty naive about a lot of stuff so life was definitely fun experiencing.
Your explanation of us hitting 40, that actually did happen to me around my 30’s. I love people and I care a lot about them but I could tell when I’m being taken advantage of and I would put my foot down and have no more of that stuff.
I think for now I’m pretty happy with where I am. I mean things could always be better right but that’s why I shared previously here on your blog that we are all a work in progress. I think though that those that still have a very long way to go need to give you a call. 😉
We all need to be in a good place or on our way for sure.
Thanks Sylviane for this message and you have a great week.
~Adrienne
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Hi Adrienne,
I’m glad you found this post 🙂
It looks like you had an early awakening. In my thirties I had already started not to let people step on my feet as much though, because I was very bad at that when I was very young, but now I am much, much better and don’t take this type of thing anymore either. But in my 30’s I still made lots of mistakes, though.
But yes, we are a work in progress, and as long as we DO progress, then we’re doing fine. I do see people who progress very slowly if at all though, even in their 40s and 50s, and that’s the sadest part. Just this morning I spent 20 minutes on the phone, trying to explain that to someone who’s already 53. How long do have to feel branches fall on your head until you get out from under the tree? That amazes me!
Thanks for coming and have a good day, Adrienne.