Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been helping someone who has been feeling stuck with his business.
For the purpose of this case study we are going to call this person, Jay.
Jay has written a book which has been completed and published over 6 months ago, yet, he is really struggling to find a way to turn this book
into the success it should receive.
The reason that Jay knows that his book has potentials is that many of his professional contacts told him that the book topic was a great idea, and they were ready to help him to get the product out there. The problem is that none of those promises turned into anything concrete and positive.
None of the 50+ people who were supposed to take the book and spread the word to their churches, clubs, associations, schools, etc, did anything with it.
But why is that?
Jay is a friend of mine, and he turned to me to see if I could help him understand what would be the reason or reasons why he is stuck, and why all the potential projects turned out to nothing, zip, nada.
Over these couple of weeks I helped him realize a few things about what’s really going on and how he could fix the issues in order to see different results. I thought I would use this case study for my post today, and see if this information might help YOU in some way.
What’s Going on Subconsciously Always Shows Up in your Results
When someone ask me for help about a problem, they can’t seem to be able to resolve, or even understand, I always go back to the roots. The roots, of course, it’s your childhood. That’s where most of your today’s issues are from.
There are two sides of a coin when it comes to success. One side is what you do (the actual literal actions that you take), and the other side is what you are deep inside (your subconscious programming).
One is way more important than the other because it basically runs the show, and guides every action that you are taking. As a matter of fact, even if you pretty much do everything you should be doing in a physical/literal sense, but you are challenged from the inside, it just won’t work anyway, or work in a very limited way.
After asking Jay some pertinent questions about his childhood and past, the first thing I found out is that he typically sabotages himself.
Self-sabotage is very common, but the reason why it’s so hard for people to find out on their own that their are sabotaging themselves (meaning without a life coach) is because it comes from the subconscious mind, and most people have no idea what’s in there.
It’s like a computer with a default setting. Unless you go in, and change the default setting, it will stay that way. Very few people are even close to be aware of their default subconscious programming.
All they know and see it’s the results they’re getting. What their are absolutely NOT aware of is WHY they getting such results.
Unless we go in and change that default subconscious programming, nothing will ever change, and the old negative patterns will remain.
No matter what you are saying to yourself consciously it’s the data recorded in your subconscious mind that will win. Remember, it’s always your subconscious mind that runs the show, not your conscious mind.
Your subconscious mind is way, way more powerful than your conscious mind (a million times more), and unless both your conscious and subconscious minds agree you won’t fully get what you want. You can’t control your subconscious mind just by saying things or thinking things. There is way more to it than that.
Once you understand this vital fact, you will at least, be able to put yourself on the road to success. Once you’re there, all you will have to do is walk that road from point A to point B by following the map.
Until you understand this, however, you’ll be lost somewhere with no map to get to where you want, wondering why.
How is our Subconscious Mind Shaped?
The first thing you need to understand is that our subconscious mind if full of data that don’t belong to us, but the people who raised to us.
Your parents, tutors, guardians, or even teachers where the ones who were once feeding your subconscious mind at an age where you were mostly “unconscious” which is during the first 6 years of your life.
During the first 6 years of our life we are living on Alpha brain waves about 95% of the time, which is the equivalent of the brain waves under hypnosis.
Back to our case study, one thing that I helped Jay to understand is why he doesn’t get favorable feedbacks, even from people who told him that they were excited about the project and that they would help him.
After investigating in his past, we found out that something negative about Jay is coming across. You see, it’s hard to build positive business relationships when negative emotions come out of you. But why does Jay appears to be that way?
After asking him some key questions to try to find the root of the problem, Jay said something very important which gave me an “Aha moment”.
He said this to me: “Well, I grew up with servants. All we had to do is order them around and they would get us what we wanted or needed”. Aha! That is a huge piece of information right there.
Then, I could better understand the situation, and we found out that Jay is talking to people who promised him to help with his book like he used to speak to the family’s servants. May be not EXACTLY the same way, but the undertone is there.
You see, it turns out that Jay is communicating with people in a very selfish and demanding way. Not because he’s rude to the people he is asking for help or sponsorship.
No.
But his subconscious undertone is demanding, and self centered. In my own term he’s got the “serve me” syndrome deep down his subconscious mind.
Even though he’s a very sweet and nice guy, subconsciously he sees people who can help him as his servants. In turns they feel that, subconsciously, and the results of this is that they flee from him, even though they might never know why. They just do.
You deep subconscious feelings and beliefs are felt by others, no matter if and when they or you ever become aware of it or not.
Your subconscious programming is going to make you act a certain way, which is going to bring you either good or bad results depending on what it is.
Results after two Weeks
It might not seem much to you, but for Jay, this was a revelation he never, ever, even guessed after all those years.
Now that he knows the main root of the problem, he is better able to FIX it, and approach people in a way that will better serve him and bring about better results.
I hope you enjoyed this case study. Let us know below in the comment area.
Hi Sylviane,
Great post!
I could easily relate myself with this case study, you have addressed a very common problem. I have been dealing with this type of problem where in conscious and subconscious mind plays a very important role and the subconscious mind really wins in almost all cases. The reason is we have been tuned to work like that only from the very beginning.
Thanks for the great share.
Sapna
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Hi Sapana,
I’m glad you could recognize yourself here. We all are in one way or another.
Yes, are subconscious mind is programmed at the very beginning of our lives.
Thank you for coming by.
This was an excellent case study Sylviane and I know that people can tell us it’s our subconscious thinking and it stems from your childhood but no one ever gives you examples. This was fabulous how you helped Jay and through that are able to help some of us too.
You are right though, a lot of us don’t realize that what we take from our childhood is affecting how we live our lives today. We aren’t consciously thinking about this stuff and had I not learned this myself I would “still” be stuck in my old life thinking I’m just not meant to have certain things. Never fully understanding why.
Thank you for sharing Jay’s experience with us and I personally love these real life examples. They really put things into perspective.
Hope you’re enjoying your week.
~Adrienne
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Hi Adrienne,
I’m so glad you enjoyed this post.
I know that people usually love true life experiences, because so many of us can just so relate to them.
I know what you mean, if we had not got to the point of searching and finding those answers we would just be wondering WHY all throughout our lives without ever knowing, like our grand parents and parents.
I’m glad you enjoyed this one, Adrienne, and thanks for coming
Hi Sylviane,
I love case studies, especially when it is so well explained like you have done. It is easy to throw words around, but here you have given an excellent explanation of how the subconscious mind works. The picture you inserted into this post, actually shows us how much bigger the subconscious mind is. So many people cannot grasp that, and this picture says 1,000 words. Thank you for that!
As for Jay, you have successfully caught that one thing he has conveyed to you. He grew up with servants. Although he was communicating to people respectfully, that subconscious tone and energy did hit them between the eyes! It is always so interesting to me how this works.
As Jay realizes this and works on it, I’m sure that energy will be “unblocked” and he will reach out in a different way with your help. He seems to me like he has a good heart and an open mind. With those two qualities, digging into his subconscious and understanding it, I’m sure he will be well on his way with better communication.
I believe that there is never too much to learn about ourselves and how the subconscious mind effects us. I’ve been working on mine for years lol! But as I do the work, I become stronger, more focused, and of course, understanding my inner self. That is the beauty of it. Once we make it part of our lives to work on it, then there is nothing that can stand in our way.
Like Jay, we all have those “blocks” and that prevents us to achieve that Law of Attraction to work for us. So what I am saying is that, as we grow, and practice the Law of Attraction, we do hit blocks along the way. But these are good “red flags” to prompt us to get into that subconscious mind and do a little work on it.
Thank you Sylviane for this wonderful post!
Donna
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Hi Donna,
Thank you for this wonderful comment.
Yes, that picture speaks a 1000 words. So many people still don’t get how enormous our subconscious impact is compared the the conscious mind impact, that’s why I put that picture 🙂
When we have such blocks as you said, it prevents us to attract what we want. If we don’t go into the subconscious programming we just keep wondering WHY does that always happens to me?
Thank you for your great input, Donna.
Awesome indeed!
I loved this real life case study, and it is something any of us could undergo. I guess Jay is just one such example of the many cases we could come across who have their problems in the root…yes…the root is always what needs to be cured more than the ‘shoot’ or anything else. 🙂
It after all does come down to parenting our kids the right way – isn’t it? Those formative 6 years as you mentioned, are the ones they grasp the most. And what hurts or affects their tender minds,m or how they behave then is what shows much later in their lives, just as in Jay’s case.
I’m so glad you could help him find out his problem, and he too might have realized this fact and made immediate amends, and seen results too. Yes indeed, our subconscious mind and all that goes on within it is much more powerful than the conscious mind, and that’s something we need to know more about.
Thanks for sharing this with us – I enjoyed it a great deal. 🙂
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Hi Harleena,
I’m glad you enjoyed this post.
We can all benefit from true life stories and case studies, can’t we. That subconscious mind is always the cause of so many thing.
We’re recording that tape player before we even know we do it and then it plays back all throughout our lives. That’s why we need to understand how the subconscious mind works and how we can change it.
Thank you for your input, Harleena.
Loved this one Sylviane. It seems that the subconscious mind is still not close to being understood by the masses. The subconscious is not logical but emotional as you know and it really does determine what kind of life we will experience.
I have been learning some techniques for reprogramming the subconscious mind by tapping the spot between the eyebrows and also tapping the heart.
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Hi Justin,
Yes, you said it well, the subconscious mind is not logical, but emotional. The trick is to find a way or ways to reprogram it, but before that I would add that it is important to learn more about what’s in there. What on that tape!
Thanks for your feedbacks.
Hi Sylviane,
Wow… What a wonderful real-life case study 🙂 I’m impressed Sylviane.
You know, a newbie here who doesn’t know what’s this blog about, may think that you gonna introduce a $99 customer attraction program to him when he reads the first half. I can see people programmed to see that they don’t wanna change themselves, but something else to change the results for ’em 🙂
Isn’t Jay similar to people who invite… oh no… enforce people to get the likes for their Facebook page Sylviane? 😉 They might not feel like enforcing but yet they need to get it however.
That’s a very good reminder for me too 🙂 No, I mean it’s not I grow up with servants and expect more. But as once I said, I’m not up to asking help mostly even when needed. Stubborn me 😀 lol… Well, sometimes 🙂
I have a question for you too Sylviane 😉 Recently I have met a person who never ever seems demanding and easily settle with clients. This developer settle with even $40, when the minimum price for that job is $150. He has been doing hard work when he could earn more and when I talk, I found that he thinks money is all root for evil. Do you think it’s being too much?
Cheers…
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Hi Mayura,
To answer your questions and by the information you are giving me here about this person, as long as he thinks that “money is the root of all evil” he will never make good money, period.
I would say that the two main reasons he charges so low is because 1) he thinking that money is bad, and 2) he thinks he’s not worthy.
He need a coach, real bad 🙂 but he might not be ready for it. Those people usually aren’t.
Thanks for your feedback and question, Mayura.
Thank you for your answer Sylviane 🙂 I thought it’s best to ask from you and the case study made me ask that.
You are right, he’s not ready and kinda stubborn 😀 lol… I’ve shared the case study with him and hope this will make him think.
Cheers…
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Wow Sylviane!
That was an amazing read!
I have been more fascinated into understanding the mental structures of the brain and knowing the psychological reasons behind some action. This really has a lot of information to read.
I am really amazed to know that Alpha brain, which waves 95% of the time. After reading this, even I feel, the parents, tutors, mentors or whomsoever showed impact on us, really have influenced our thoughts and feelings.
Thanks for sharing.
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Hi Koundeenya,
Yes, our brain and mind functions are very interesting subjects aren’t they?
As adults, we are much less working on Alpha waves to be sure, but it’s amazing that as small children that’s how we function for the most part. A very vital information that we all need to know.
Thank you for coming and I’m so glad you liked it!
Hi Sylviane
What an interesting story and definitely an interesting angle. I know that we are shaped by what we experienced or learned in our childhood but I never really thought of the tone of our voices,or the way we talk.
Hmm! I am often told by people who befriend me what a nice person I am and how before they got to know me they thought I was very proud or unreachable, as if I was placing a barrier in front of me. I could never understand it.
I wonder what I am projecting and why. This article certainly has given me something to think about.
Cheers,
Dita
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Hi Dita,
Thank you for coming here and welcome!
How interesting. So many people have told me the exact same thing all my life. They love me once they know me and fear me when they don’t.
This is definitely a self-protection mechanism that we have. In my case is because I learned very early (at age 4) that strangers can’t be trusted. This is because I was bullied for 11 years of my life, starting at age 4.
If you go back to your early childhood you might find the root for this behavior.
Thank you so much for coming and hope to see you again soon.
Hi Syliviane,
What a lovely post. I really like real case studies.
I can so much relate to Jay in so many ways. There are some stuff in our up raising that is so strong in our subconscious and its voice is really loud and that what made us settle for less in so many things in life.
I wish we all knew earlier on about the subconscious Mind, we might have made different decisions but thanks to blogs like yours that are very educating about this.
Thanks Sylviane for such a great share as always.
Be Blessed,
Neamat
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Hi Neamat,
Ah, do I wish I knew about these things earlier in my life too! But for most of us, whether we even make a career out of personal development or not, we were not raised by parents who knew anything about this topic.
However, that’s OK, because it’s easier to help people when we have had the same situations and feelings they do. It’s easier to help people that way.
Thank you for you input, Neamat.
Hi Sylviane
Thanks for sharing the information and experience & conversation with jay.I now believe that its all conscious and subconscious mind that plays alot in over life,Control over can solve many problems in life.
Thank you
Shorya Bist
From Youthofest
Hi Shorya,
Yes, you’re right it’s all about our subconscious mind and how we consciously direct things out to change the programming if we don’t like what we see and have.
Thank you for coming 🙂
Hi Sylviane,
This is a fascinating case study that demonstrates very powerfully how we’re influenced, in many subtle ways, by what happened to us in our childhood. It just goes to show how valuable it is to become aware of the way we’ve been programmed – it’s not easy to change and challenge those deep-seated habits and ways of thinking and behaving, but I do believe it’s possible.
Thanks very much for these insights, Sylviane,
Sue
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Hi Sue,
No, and the reason why it’s not easy to change deep-seated habits it’s because most people try to fight the subconscious programming with their little one handed conscious mind.
It’s like David again Goliath without the holly spirit. Not an easy task. That’s why it’s so important to go directly where the problem is, which is the subconscious mind.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
Excellent case study. Sometimes, it is important to identify and accept right away that things in our business are not really what we expect it to be. It is important to do actions right away rather than regret in the end.
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That’s right Sarah, as long as we take the proper actions.
Hi Sylviane,
A superb case study, thanks for sharing.
A few days ago, I was going though a few research papers for my ebook and came across the point that babies or young children instinctively call out negative information much faster and distinctively than positive information. So, it up to the parents and family to provide positive beliefs and values from a young age.
I guess it wasn’t Jay’s fault after all and the best part was a positive result came out from it.
Thanks again for sharing!
Aditya
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Hi Aditya,
That’s why it’s so important to put positive feedback in the heads of our young children.
Thank you for bringing this information up!
According to a show I watched earlier today in order for you to succeed in a certain business venture you must have a certain level of obsession with your business. It’s not just about the enthusiasm and passion.
Hi Arianne,
I tend to agree with that. It’s not an unhealthy level of obsession, I would say, but having one will help. I totally agree. Thanks for bringing this up.
Hi Sylviane:
How are you?
Very interesting post you have here –
Most interesting to me was this –
The mind is more powerful
Than we know it to be
And much more powerful
Than we think it to be.
Unfortunately due to all the pressures in life
People really do not have the
Time or the energy
To call on the powers of the mind.
People just tend to go with the tide
Just taking each day (and night!)
As they come and go.
People are not willing to rise up and fight
With defeats and failures
People only want to believe
What they are led to believe –
They do not want to harness
The powers that lie
In their own mind.
And that is the very reason why
So many people fail in life.
Thanks for the share.
Take care.
Best wishes and regards.
Veena 🙂